It's All About Me!

Long Way Home...

2012-02-12T09:54:00.000-08:00

Another song that fits me...and I love. It's about the journey we take here on earth. We really are just passing through. The final destination is one to be sought after. Yes, the journey here is often full of hills and valleys. But there are several flat spots to camp out and have s'mores. Just keep on keepin' on......

That's all you can do here, really.

Just Laugh Already...

2012-02-11T08:56:00.000-08:00

Amidst my daily routine of rush rush rush and battling the ugly voices in my head, I was caught off guard for a second today. I had asked my 9 year old to "Hurry up and get your socks and shoes on".....(so that I can get to McD's and get my COFFEE!!!!!).... and she returned to me like this:

To add to the humor of this, you must realize that it snowed here last night. However...I literally stopped and laughed out loud at this. It halted my rapid pace, and made me laugh.

Sometimes being a mom is unexpectedly awesome. :)

The Beauties and The Beast...

2012-02-05T15:23:00.000-08:00

A nice day at the park. What could be better? The kids and mom, exploring the usually untraveled parts of the park. We had a great time, even if it was chilly and windy and the ground was sometimes soggy.

It got me out of the house, and the kids got some fresh air.

It was such a nice time, that I decided to take a picture of us all. So, I took a few. And looked at them.

And as usual when I see myself in a photo, I became upset, mad, sad, disgusted, and the good ol' happy feeling left immediately.

I can't explain why, but I have a very deep disgust about myself. I'm working on changing that, but it is what it is..... I'm not looking for sympathy, or words to tell me how great I am. I'm just getting it out there, that I can not see myself anything other than disgusting looking.

So, here is what could have been an awesome picture of me and four of my children. Maybe in a year, I can redo it....and be grateful that I am alive and well....pretty or not.

What Did Not Kill Me Made Me Stronger...

2012-02-03T09:38:00.000-08:00

My Mantra.
And Don't ask me what I mean by that.

Who am I? Let me tell you...

2012-01-30T15:34:00.000-08:00

I am a child of God.
I am a human.
I am a mother.
I am a wife.
I am a daughter, sister, cousin and aunt.
I am blessed.
I am damaged.
I am healing.
I am hurting.
I am loved.
I am hated.

But above all...I am a child of God. I am all things because of Him. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I belong to Him. My life really is not my own. There is a reason for everything that has happened to me, and because of me. There is a reason for all things. ALL things.

So, when I look in the mirror and see everything I don't want to be....remind me who I am.
When I can't receive your love, afraid I'll never be enough...remind me who I am.
In the lonliness places...when i can't remember what grace is...
Remind me who I am.

HE loves me. That will have to be enough.

What is Important?

2012-01-29T05:02:00.000-08:00

These are my top 5 things....

Car Insurance...Got it?

2012-01-27T14:44:00.000-08:00

So....my husband was involved in a car accident yesterday.

Not a horrific one. Not even one that totaled his car. He was driving down Kingshighway, when somebody thinking they had super fast powers, tried to dash across Holly Hills...but then realized when my husband smashed into him, that he indeed did not have super powers. Idiot.

My husband does not drive a new car. Not even a newER car. His car is 18 years old. We can't afford two car payments, and his car runs...so why would we get another one? However, my husband has a second job as a pizza delivery driver. The tips he makes doing that allows us to send our kids to a catholic school, which is a priority in our lives.

The crash caused him to lose the right front side the car, which involves the headlight.

You need a headlight, or else you get pulled over by the PoPo and get a ticket. He was pulled over already last night just bringing Julianne home from school. How is he supposed to deliver pizzas at night...with no headlight?

And now what do we do? The guy says he has insurance...but this can not be verified.

Nothing pisses me off more than people who drive around without car insurance. HOW DARE YOU?? Why do you think it is OK to do that? You can't afford it? Well boo hoo...I can't afford a lot of things either, but I don't put other peoples livelihoods at steak just so I can have them.

If you can't afford car insurance, do not drive. Period. I don't care about your circumstances. It's the law.

And it is only fair.

2012-01-24T18:01:00.000-08:00

Sometimes the things we can not change

End up changing us.

And that is the damn truth.

Moth Life.

2012-01-23T15:33:00.000-08:00

Cousins. That is what Butterflies and moths are. Closely related, but oh so different. Both start off as these caterpillar like things. The butterfly, as a caterpillar, is pretty, fuzzy and cute. Moths, the less fortunate cousins, are not brightly colored, but are usually brown and broad, and sometimes even contain a stinger. And we all know, stingers scare people.

Butterflies fly around during the day, looking so beautiful and dreamy. Children and adults alike get a little happy feeling when a butterfly flutters by. The dumb moth cousin is nocturnal. It flies at night so nobody can see him. And if a person does see a moth, they usually are trying to swoosh it out of their house, or their children are screaming because it got inside the house. How fair is that?

Amazing Grace...

2012-01-21T18:32:00.000-08:00

How sweet the sound....

'Tis The Season to GIVE GIVE GIVE...

2011-11-19T18:08:00.001-08:00

My last blog entry was a very eye opening perspective look at what is happening in Haiti.

If you haven't read it yet, I urge you to...and get a glimpse of how life is in Haiti. At the end of it, I promised to give you all some info on how you could help. I've decided to go ahead a list a few of my favorite charities that I would love for all of you out there in the blogging world, to open your hearts and your wallets to help.

HAITI

Please visit:
http://www.thehaitimission.org/
http://www.fordhaitianorphanage.org/
http://mfkhaiti.org/

The cool thing about The Haiti Mission is that 100% of a donation, goes to the effort. NO deduction for administrative costs. EVERY PENNY. So if your brownie troop raises $20 dollars, every cent is used. That was important to me. The group has been going since 1992.

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Another charity near and dear to my heart is Operation Smile.
http://www.operationsmile.org/

This wonderful organization goes all over the world fixing cleft lips and palates, and saving children from a lifetime of ridicule, at no charge. It is an amazing thing! I first became familiar with this organization because of my dear sweet friend Heather, who's son Carter had a cleft lip. His story is one full of love, hope and sadness. His story can be read here:
http://teamcarterjay.blogspot.com/

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And of course, my most favorite charity, which I readily share how much I love, is The Walker Scottish Rite Clinic.

http://www.srclinic.org/

This fantastic organization helps children, ages 2-6, who have speech and language disorders, AT NO CHARGE. Speech therapy is EXPENSIVE, but this clinic will never make you pay. Our family was personally helped by the WSR clinic, and we have vowed to forever be their biggest and most faithful supporters. I beg of you to consider donating anything, even $5 to this charity. Your help will last a lifetime.

I realize these are "trying times". I live it. Our family just gets by, just like so many other families. But I ask you to all to consider giving to one or more of the above charities...no amount is too small. If one of these charities do not excite you, I ask you to find some other charity to give to. I firmly believe that giving, even just a little, to something that will help others, shines our soul just a little, and a shiny soul makes for a happy heart.

Thank you....and Happy Holidays.

Haiti Perspective

2011-11-01T19:36:00.000-07:00

Perspective: a way of regarding situations, facts, etc, and judging their relative importance.

Just when you think you have your life figured out...when you feel your life is in dispair...when you can't see any goodness in anything you do...PERSPECTIVE can kick you in your ass and put you back into reality.

I consider myself a person who is very aware of PERSPECTIVE. Not all the time, but I would say a lot of the time. Even so, I have recently been knocked out of my PERSPECTIVE bubble.

With the permission of my sweet friend, Nora Applebaum, I am going to share some things with you.

Nora is a mom, a sister, a daugther, a friend, a nurse practitioner, a wife...but even moreso, she is a completly selfless, giving person. Every year, she pays her way to go on a trip to Haiti, to work in a mobile clinic, helping countless sick people.

Sick beyond anything we Americans could fathom. She treats children who are literally on deaths bed, but the parents or grandparents are so grateful for her help.

Here in America, there are countless times parents throw big hissy fits because their child has ear pain and they can't get the appointment time they want....in order for them to go to all the other things that must be more important, like baseball, hockey, soccer, fill-in-the-blank.

I would love for all who are here reading my blog, to read these notes from Nora from her latest trip to Haiti. .....and then, I implore you to consider donating ANYTHING to the great causes she supports...which I will include in the next blog post.

Thank you for reading. It's important....and it will hopefully put things in PERSPECTIVE for you, as it has for me.

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RE: Haiti Trip

Hi All. We have arrived in Ft Lauderdale!!!. It is mid 70's and clear. Beautiful. Just finished the team meeting over dinner. What a wonderful group of people to share the work with. We meet in the lobby at 3.45am (ok, REALY?) to catch our plane to Cap Haitian. Ugh!So off to bed! Hope to have some internet in Haiti to hear the update on the Cards!!! Wearing my Cards shirt on the plane tomorrow!!love nora

RE: Sunday

Hi All. Really had trouble getting the internet. No skype so far. I am trying to type fast to get this out. We went to a town called Don Don yesterday, south and west of Cap Haitian. About a 2hr drive up a skinny rocky road, with lush jungle along the side, banana trees, water falls, with the mountain falling off about a mile below. Out my window I could see through a beautiful valley and in the distance the Citadel, the castle on the mountain. We set up clinic in a tiny school room...saw about 400 kids and few hundred teeny tiny old men and women. The adults seem like elfs, grizzled, smiling, and barely 80lbs soaking wet. These kids were really not used to seeing "Blancs" so a bit of a barrier to cross doing an exam. Had a few impressive cases of pertussis, mumps, pneumonia, scabies, cellulitis, bony TB (ribs), and of course everyone has intestinal worms. Always impresses me to feel them move away from me when examine the abdomen (of the child, not the worm) ha! Had several cases of malaria, but no cholera yesterday. So much malnutrition. Had a 30lb 8yr old. Just dont even know what to say about that. Our team is great, as fun as always. Not sure I could do this without them to make me laugh. Off to day to the clinic in Tovar. Ray said they saw 2300 people last week (team one). So, as Ray say, we will be up to our behinds in alligators...well he is a little more colorful. You get the idea. wish me luck love you, no

RE: Monday
Hi All. Today we went to Tovar, the mission clinic. Piled into 3 vans, generator, water, and all the supplies. Cap Haitian in the morning is a chaotic mess of mopeds with Dad, 4 kids, and then a mom swerving between open air buses with 20 uniformed little girls. No stop lights, no street signs, complete me first driving. Not for the faint of heart. Along the roadside you see piles of trash, huge pigs and goats rooting around, and little kids in clean pressed uniforms holding hands and walking in a directed manner. Apartments in varying degrees of completion, rebar sticking up, and trees growing in the depressions. Clothing is strewn over the edges drying in the sun. As we leave the city gates, we enter a lush paradox, black soil, and pitiful cows tied up, their ribs clearly visible. Banana trees, avacados, mangoes...abound. Most people walk, with huge buckets of water on their heads, smile and wave. The kids scream, "blanc" and wave frantically. Most dont have anything on the lower half, and run barefoot, fullspeed down gravel roads. The van jumps incessently as it descends into the pot holes, and I regret not having done more core strength exercises. (Sorry Ben). Kind of hard to complain about musculoskeletal pain from a van ride, when they walk overnight to be seen at clinic. We arrived at the clinic to have about 100 people waiting. The day was crazy. I saw 62 kids. Can you believe that??? Many with malaria and so profoundly sick. I thought I knew illness until I have treated patients suffering from malaria and dengue. Such misery. Tons of scabies with secondary skin infection, whopping pneumonia, perforated bilateral otitis (ear infections), cellulitis/abcess (we have a DVM on the team so he does our I&D and sutures), a couple with presumptive typhoid, UTI's, zinc deficiency rash, normal kid traumas (falls from trees and bikes), 5-6 mumps, many pertussis cases, a few burns (cooking on open fires) and of course the scourge....malnutrition. Had a 24 lb almost 8yr old and a 12 lb 3 yr old today. Lots of orphans, grandmas caring for 5 or 9 grandchildren. Tested them all for HIV, no positive today, thank god. Had an 8 day old whose mom died in childbirth, and grandma had fed her tea, nothing else to give her. So much grace in the face of ridiculous odds. (gave her the formula, vitamins, and bottles from the office) They dont complain, and always say thank you to me. A connection of mom to mom, human to human. They just want the best for their baby. No different than me. Finished and piled in the van to return to the Mon Joli. We all listen carefully to each others triumphs and disappointments. I tear up hearing to the heart wrenching stories. I try not to talk with the lump in my throat. Just nod my head. So much to learn. So much to admire. We arrive at the hotel, exhausted. Team dinner of goat and fish and squash. I marvel at our team. So many different people, from many geographic areas, all here to provide some relief or make a little difference . I am I lucky or what???I hope to get to the orphanage tomorrow to see my little charge. She will be one year older. Love to all nora

RE: Tuesday and Wednesday
Hi All. Internet has been very uncooperative. Had a couple big storms just to confuse the satellite. So I will try to type fast. Wednesday is market day in Grison Gaurde, the town just past the Tovar clinic. The road is busy with people walking pigs, goats, and calves to sell. Many carry bushels of avacadoes, or mangoes, coffee beans, cassava, woven chairs, ...whatever they can sell. The small horses are loaded down with baskets hanging off the sides, bursting with wares. It is a bustling morning, many folks stopping to chat along the way, or buy fried bananas as they walk miles to reach GG. It seems an idyllic picture. Then we pull in to the clinic, and so many wait outside. Mothers carrying sick children, elderly men and women sitting in a daze on the porch. Time to work. Saw 68 kids yesterday and 74 today. About a third are well, just have worms. Their moms just want someone to examine them and tell them they are ok. The kids stare at me curiously, and if brave enough, reach out to touch pale skin. They try to feel my hair and are just not completely sure what I am going to do. They clearly want to know more about me, giggle and talk amongst themselves about me, but are hesitant to do much more. So cute.Some patients are so very memorable, and I wake at night thinking about them. Had an 8 day old baby, brought in by grandma. Mom was "too sick to breastfeed", they had spooned him tea. The baby looked amazingly good on exam. Fed him some formula and I laughed at his expression of joy. Gave the grandma "taptap" (taxi) money to come in so Liz could evaluate her. Turns out she had an enormous HPV tumor, 16x12cm, over the perineum and was HIV positive. She is a young girl, now destined for misery. The baby also tested positive for HIV, but not sure if that is reliable, probably not an accurate test at this age. Either way, both were referred to the HIV clinic. Had a three year old that fell into the cooking fire, severe burn all the way up the inside of his R arm. Stood perfectly still while we cleaned and dressed the wound. What american kid would do that? He did start crying, just silent tears rolling down his cheeks. I gave him his dose of antibiotic, some tylenol, and wiped his little face. He looked up at me and said in a tiny voice, "Mesi, madam" (thank you maam). I was stifling the big ugly gulp cry and just gave him a hug. Many kids are severely injured over fires here, and often the secondary infection is worse than the thermal injury. And of course the threat of tetanus. A serious concern of big open wounds. Thankfully he had received his vaccines.Saw 4 wk old that had fever and was seriously dehydrated. He had impressive rigidity, difficult to flex his neck or hips. Likely meningitis. Rehydrated him, gave him 100mg/kg of Rocephin, and hope to see him back tomorrow. Not sure if he will make if through the night. Mom is also at home, "sick". Auntie brought him in and sat stone faced as I explained my concern. I rarely meet a mother that has not experienced the death of a child. They seem to accept that and just emit pain and sadness. So many more, I cant begin to write about them all. Two more days of clinic. I begin to feel a panic for the kids that will fall ill next week. If you are "lucky" you get sick while the team is here. I have to push the thoughts away and just plow through. Maybe one of these children we see will grow up to be the next president, or invent the cure to cancer. All I know is that to honor my children back home, I have to help the ones I can here. We did hear about the battle shaping up at Busch....crossing my fingers. LoveNora

RE: Thursday
Hi all. An overwhelming day today! Saw 84 kids. I am exhausted. Really hot and humid today. But probably one of my best days EVER......My meningitis baby made it through the night!!!! He had his eyes open and looked at me like a little scared bird. He still had a fever, and impressive nuchal rigidity, but an improved status. Dad feed him overnight with a syringe, he was too weak to suck, the formula I sent home with him. I was so excited to see him I jumped up from my rickety table on the clinic front porch and ungracefully tripped as I hurried to meet him. I saw the baby's face, looked in the Dad's eyes, and just hugged them both. He was trying to be so stoic, but was just overcome with emotion. It was a little embarrassing, having such a raw moment in front of all the waiting patients, but what the hell. It made the whole trip worthwhile. I think he just might have saved me more than I helped him. So many memorable other kids.....Saw a 7yr old that was hit by a motorcycle right outside the clinic. Had an 8 yr old with severe hydrocephalus (fluid on the brain) that can now crawl and say a few words (as if life in rural Haiti wasnt hard enough).... Saw a 4 yr old with a huge cyst on his arm, benign, but reassuring to mom that the voodoo wasnt taking him over. Many cases of malaria which always impresses me. Two kids with cutaneous anthrax, presumably from hugging/playing with goats. Indescribable scabies infections, over all of the body, with secondary pustules from scratching so hard. A darling 7 yr old ran to me with her arms outstretched, when Daphne called her name. Her mom said she remembered me from last year and that Edeline wanted to see the lady with the 'water eyes" (blue color). She was only 18lbs!!!. Think of that. Her arms were not much bigger than the size of my thumbs. I asked what brought her to clinic today, and she said she just wanted to say hello. They were in threadbare, tattered clothes, so very thin, covered in scabies, but smiling as they talked to me. Asked about MY kids. Amazing. I talked to her about the Mamba (medically enriched peanut butter) program and mom nodded and said that would be fine. Treated her infections, enrolled her in Mamba, loaded them up with AK Meal (protein and grain mix) and hugged goodbye. They had about an hour and half walk back home. Dang.
Tomorrow is our last clinic day. Such emotions. I am so grateful for our team, and will be sad to say goodbye...for now. Am I lucky or what??love nora

Actually Nora....those of us who know you, are the lucky ones....

A Disgustingly Funny Story. . .

2011-10-28T18:37:00.000-07:00

We have this new puppy. Ok, so she isn't so "new" anymore, but she is still a puppy. Pippy is her name. That is short for Pipsqueak. Allison named her. I would have named her Pepper, if I was given the honor. Then we would have Chili and Pepper. Yeah, I'm funny like that.

Puppies like to eat things. Did you know that? Yep, they sure do. Everything. Baby dolls, crayons, staples, shoe strings, boxes, table legs.... you get the idea. This dog likes to chew. And eat.

So, today Audrey and Julianne took Pippy the Puppy outside to "do her business". About ten minutes later, I hear my name being called...and then yelled! I run outside thinking maybe Pippy had escaped through the gate or something.

"Mom!!! Pippy got the rabbit!!! Under the bushes!!!! She's tearing her apart and ripping out her insides and eating them!!!"

Wait. What did you just say? Surely you didn't just tell me I was going to have to climb under the bush to grab the puppy away from a killed rabbit that she was eating!

Being a grown up sucks sometimes.

So, I grab a long stick, thinking I am going to have to poke at the puppy to get her away from her fresh meat meal.

Here I go. Kneeling down in the grass, right by the fence facing my neighbors yard. Great. Not only am I doing something so disgusting that I don't let my mind process what I am about to do, but I also get to give my neighbor (yes, the one who hates us) a big bent over hiney wave hello.

"Pippy...Pippy...come here Pippy....." I say in my highest pitched voice. poke...poke with my stick.

Not working. I guess I am actually going to have to look and see. I cannot believe just two minutes ago I was gearing up for a nice cozy mid afternoon nap, and now I am about to pry a puppy off of a dead, ripped up rabbit. What the hell, ya know!

So I look. I see it. A mess of white fuzz. Now I frantically poke at the puppy to get her away from the rabbit. Oh my gosh!!!The rabbit is stiff and looks like it has been dead for awhile. At least that is what I can gather through all the branches and leaves.

I look closer. CLOSER. I stare at it, and cannot believe what I am seeing.

Seriously?

I bust out laughing. This is what I found. WARNING...

Oh yes. This is "rabbit". Rabbit was being torn apart and eaten by Pippy. In case you can't tell, it is a stuffed toy animal.

I laughed and sighed with relief. And then, to make this story even better, Julianne said to me, "Mom, she didn't get the baby bunny, at least." What does that mean? She then turned "rabbit" over, and said..."See, baby bunny was safe all along."

Baby Bunny: on top of the fuzz.....

The Psycho-Educational Evaluation

2011-10-27T18:34:00.000-07:00

Last night I attended a workshop titled, The Psycho-Educational Evaluation. It was held at Julianne’s school, The Miriam School. I wanted to attend this workshop because Julianne has had one of these evaluations in the past, and I assume she will have another one in the future. These evaluations are incredibly difficult for me to understand. I thought that if I went to this little workshop, that I might learn how to interpret the exam , learn about what I can expect, and yadda yadda yadda.

Well, I left there feeling anything but good.

The speakers were fantastic. The entire time that they were talking, I was trying to figure out where I knew them from. Had they worked with Julianne before? Had they been one of the people who have given Julianne this test before? Or did I just know them from seeing them at Miriam? I never did figure that out…I just know that I have met them before.

Anyway…

I sat and listened to the speakers discuss why somebody would want this type of evaluation, and what tests are typically given, and why social history is a factor. Parents started asking questions, and the speakers started answering the many questions, trying to explain many different things. . .

When the parents started questioning what would be needed as far as getting “services” in high school or college or “extended time” on SAT/ACT tests, I began to slowly internalize how stupid I felt. For the rest of the discussion, my mind was spinning with how much I still did not know, and how much I should know, and how very little help I can actually give my daughter…because I am just so not very smart.

Or at least, that is how I felt in that room, at that time.

I have never taken the SAT or ACTs. I never went to a real college. I fear that I will be of no help to any of my children when it comes to getting them into college, much less my child who struggles 100 times harder than the rest of us when it comes to education.

As I drove home, I started to cry. And then sob. I had so many things going through my head. So many emotions at the same time.

I felt angry at myself for pretending to think I would actually be able to understand what they were going to be talking about. If I have found out anything about myself during this “special-needs kid” journey, it is that I am dumb when it comes to knowing how to help my child. I am dumb when it comes to knowing what the hell people are saying to me when trying to tell me what is wrong with her, or how to help her. I am dumb when it comes to understanding what I can do to help her to get her what she needs.

I felt sad because I couldn’t imagine Julianne being able to go to college.

I felt disappointed in myself for thinking that maybe Julianne would not be able to attend college. How dare I think such a disgusting thought. Shame and Guilt on me!!!!

I had a little meltdown.

Then I started thinking about how lucky we really are. And blessed. Devine intervention has placed many wonderful people in Julianne’s life. People who actually know what they are talking about, and know how to help her, and how to get her where she needs to be. Saving her from me, in a way. I don’t say that to be self defeating. I say that because it is truth. When I started this whole journey, I didn’t even know that there was a difference between speech and language. I had no idea about services through schools. I had never even heard of an IEP or a psycho-educational evaluation. I had no clue what OT was even for. And so on. And so on. And so on.

And so on.

But, there has been a village of people that have told me what to do for Julianne, and where to take her, and how to do it.. They have saved her…and given her a chance at a decent life. A life that will involve her potential. Thank God for them. She is a blessed child to have all these angels here for her. It is amazing, really.

So a day later, I am trying to not think about the future for her. She may or may not go to college. But based on how things have gone so far, I am confident that God will continue to bring in magical people to guide and love her.

Take These Moments...

2011-10-21T09:32:00.000-07:00

I am a mother of five children. I am a human who sometimes is so overwhelmed with life, that I find myself forgetting everything. I am always in a constant "hurry up and do everything" state of mind. I forever try to keep track of all the dates on my calendar to do list, all the papers I have to turn in on time to school, all the money that the kids need to turn in on time, this that and the other thing. Laundry. Homework. Bills. Groceries. Meals. Housework. Sports. Birthday parties. One on one time.....

Truth be told, I suck at this. I just do.

Never-the-less, I want to address the fact that time FLIES. Specifically, time with our children. I look at my 12 year old and I can still see her crying as I left her at preschool. I find myself wishing I could go back in time and do things differently when she and the others were little-er.

Then I turn around...and there stands my 5 year old.

In a flash, I am sure she will be 12...and my 12 year old will be 17. And I am sure I will think I wish I could go back in time and do things differently.....

But today, I am really trying to think about the HERE AND NOW. There is so much chaos in my home right now...that simple sounds so out of reach. But why? Simple is the way it should be. I am tired of feeling rushed. Too rushed to pray at night, even. The other night, when Alena wanted me listen as she read two stories from the bible before I tucked her in....and I told her I didn't have time for that.

I closed the door....and my stomach immediately filled with guilt.... and two weeks later, I am still here thinking about that.

and I want to change this.

I don't know how, but I am trying to figure it out.

My daughter Alena's favorite song is "Cinderella" by Steven Curtis Chapman. It is about a dad taking the time to dance with this little girl...first as she is pretending to be a princess, then as she is going to a high school dance, and then at her wedding. As a parent, it hits home for me. I am not a dad, obviously, but I do realize that if I do not take the time to "dance" when they are little and ask me to....chances are I will regret this later in life. And the last thing I need to add to my list of emotions is regret.

I have a little video here of Steven Curtis Chapman singing this song, and then talking about how he came up with writing it. It is so, so touching...because it was taped before his little girl Maria Sue lost her life to a horrible accident.... He ends his video by saying, "Take these moments"...to enjoy your kids. :(

If nothing else, parents enjoy your kids today. Everything else will still be there at the end of the day, (laundry, dirty dishes, bills), but your children will be one day older when it is all said and done. One less day of childhood.

Make the most of today. Take those moments. . .and make them into great memories.

That's Just the Way it is....

2011-09-22T18:28:00.000-07:00

That's just the way it is.

I must say that sentence at least (and I do mean at LEAST) twice a day. With five children, I get asked "why...." all the time, and "That's just the way it is" is my standard answer.

I heard this song on the radio while driving today. It's called "Just the Way it is" by Bruce Hornsby. I hadn't heard it in forever, but today I not only listened to it...I *heard* it. I've said it before, but sometimes music speaks to me...and today, it did.

Here are some of the lyrics:

They say hey little boy you can't go Where the others go
'Cause you don't look like they do
Said hey old man how can you stand To think that way
Did you really think about it
Before you made the rules
He said, Son
That's just the way it is
Some things will never change
That's just the way it is
But don't you believe them

I ask myself why does my daughter struggle to read and communicate. I ask myself why some people have lives full of money, and we went bankrupt just trying to survive. I ask myself why my kids seem to hate eachother a lot of the time. I ask myself why I don't have a sister. It sure would have been nice to have a sister. I ask myself why I can't lose weight. I ask myself why I ask myself so many questions.

The answer to all of them is almost certainly always..."That's just the way it is."

I wonder if that's God's answer too.

I'm sure he gets asked a lot of why questions daily too.....

Ripples in a pond. . .

2011-09-04T10:19:00.000-07:00

It's funny how life works sometimes. I find myself almost constantly talking to myself about all the things that are wrong with me. So much so, that when I reflect on how much time I spend doing that, it's disgusting to realize how much time I've wasted on myself. Doing nothing good. Just being selfish.

Some things happened this week that forced me to reflect on my life, and what I am doing to enhance this world for others. I have been blessed with fantastic people in my life. People who are doing things to make my life better. People are doing things to make my children's lives better. And there are people in this world who don't know that the great things they are doing, are changing our lives, or those we love.

Ripples in a pond.

The time has come where I need to start making ripples in this pond of life. I am challenging myself to give up some of the time I spend hating on myself...and exhange it for time spent on doing good deeds for others. I may not be able to do grand things. or exciting things. or expensive things. But I know first hand, that even the simple acts of kindness are important.

Mr. Earl Walker, somebody who has greatly impacted and changed the course of my family's life, died this week. While I spent the week reflecting on things I wanted to do, I realized that even though Mr. Walker didn't know me by name, he taught me about the kind of person that I want to be.

The ripples have reached me....and now, I will try and toss some of my own stones, because kindness and empathy and charity and respect and love is what makes this world worthwhile. If our pond loses all its ripples...it will just be a nasty, stagnant, stinky swamp.

And I don't like swamps.

But if somebody were to toss a stone into a swamp.....it could be turned back into a pond...

Moving Mountains...

2011-04-03T13:11:00.000-07:00

In a few days, it will have been a year since Julianne got invited to Miriam School to see if it was a school appropriate for her, and I suppose to see if she was appropriate for them. That day was the beginning of what I term as Julianne's new beginning.

A few months prior to that, I went to their open house. It only took minutes to have a striking reaction that THIS was the place for her. Oh My God, I found what I had been searching for for years for my child. To actually get her to be able to go there, would be impossible.

But as the open house continued, and I saw all the children there getting what I had only imagined for my child...and listening to the people giving the tour say the things I had been yearning to hear for years from her educators, I cried. Yes, embarrassing, but I did.

ALL of the help she needed...would be able to be given to her in ONE location, with a TEAM of people...instead of getting help at school, going to extra help somewhere else, speech therapy at another place, and occupational therapy at yet one more location. And pretty much none of these places contacted the others to see what could be done to help...except for her wonderful speech therapist who tried. She even came out to her school to sit and observe and see how things could done differently....but unfortunately the school didn't really keep her updated like we had hoped.

Back to topic.... As I drove away from that open house, I had an epiphany. I wasn't sure how...but I was going to somehow "move mountains" to make this happen. I had to. But how?? This school is expensive. Really, really expensive. Things raced through my head on how we could make this work. Basically, a miracle would have to happen.

And that is exactly what happened.

and Team Julianne was formed.

That speech therapist I mentioned above, who cared enough to come observe her at school, on her own time in an effort to see how she could better help Julianne...has continued to be one of Julianne's biggest fans and supporters. Because she cared more than the usual person, Julianne has a chance at a future that has a shiny outlook.

So, here we are, a year later. It has been the best year ever for Julianne. It has been better than we could have ever imagined. The team of people that work with her are Amazing (with a capital A). They have learned so much about Julianne, and why things are the way they are for her...and in doing so, they learn how best to help her. All the people there love her, and are simply fantastic.

So, I thank the Team Julianne members...those I know, and those I don't know, for allowing my daughter the chance to live her life to her potential. And I thank Miriam School, and all who make that place a family, for being so wonderful.

And I thank God, for showing me that anything really is possible.. .

A splinter of me...

2011-01-04T19:14:00.000-08:00

I didn't go searching for it. I didn't even know I wanted to find it. So, by accident tonight, I found something within myself that I didn't realize was there.

I found a part of me, my childhood, my present and my future...all wrapped up in music. Let me try to put this into words.

While scanning youtube tonight, I had a fleeting thought that I would like to hear an acoustic guitar melody that my dad would play whenever he would break out the guitar. So, I called my mom, and had her ask dad what the song was called. (Is it called a song if there are no words??) Anyway, he said it was called "Under the Double Eagle". Wierd name, I thought. So I thanked them, hung up, and went back to youtube.

I absolutely adore youtube, because no matter what in the world you are looking for, you'll find it there.

I started listening to some of the videos of people playing this on the guitar...and little by little, it became clear to me that this was more than just a guitar solo to me. As I listenend, I found myself smiling, and taking a journey to "back then" in my memory. I was/am/will always be a daddy's girl, and oh how I loved when he played music. The mere sound of this tune made my stomach fill with butterflies, and feel a strange happiness that isn't usually there. Oh how I miss hearing him play. I think maybe I should teach myself how to play this tune, because I love it so much.

I then began to think about why this tune made me feel so happy...and strangely enough, happiness that could easily turn into tears. I decided it is because this tune is a piece of me. I feel that if I were broken apart to see what I am made of, somewhere, there would be a splinter of me that was made up of this song.

This little story probably makes absolutely no sense to anybody but me. Sorry about that. But if I may share.....here is a what a splinter of me would sound like:

WWSD?

2010-12-06T14:25:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it becomes blazingly clear to me, the fact that 1) I daydream way too much while driving and 2) I over think things all.the.time.

Here is just one example of that:

One day last week, while doing my usual drive to or from somewhere...(honestly, I don't even remember where I was going or where I was coming from. That really isn't all that strange, considering that lately, I rarely remember much of anything that I need to do, or should have done or was going to do)... So, while at a stoplight, while daydreaming about something else, I see on the back window of the car in front of me, this:

What Would Scooby Do? ...you know, a take off of the infamous "What Would Jesus Do?" campaign.

What would Scooby Do?

So, while thinking about what Scooby would always do, it was then that I began to realize, that I was a whole hell of a lot like Scooby.

You see....Scooby was a scardey cat (or scardey dog, really) who would rather eat than pretty much do anything else. I too, am afraid of most everything...and if given the chance, would opt for a snack or meal over most anything.

Interesting thoughts, don't you think....

And then the light turned green, and I continued on my way.

Halloween 2010...

2010-11-07T06:57:00.000-08:00

PICTURES:

Jessica Pea, like the vegetable!

2010-10-03T09:24:00.000-07:00

Have you ever felt so blessed to know somebody, and think that your life is such a better place because of them? Well I have. Actually, it isn't a "somebody", it's an entire family. The Asinger family.

I grew up on Wright Ave. Down and across the street by about 5 houses, lived the Asinger family. Theresa was the youngest of all the kids. There is Mary, Margi, Kathi, Tim, Tom, Joe, John, Chris and Theresa. That is not in complete order, but Chris was my age, and Theresa was a year younger than I. I can't remember the specific year Theresa and I became friends, but I do remember she was still in a crib. :)

When I think about my childhood, my teenage years, my twenties, and up until this very day, there aren't many memories that don't include Theresa and her family. I remember the good times like when Theresa spent the night once, and we used all our Barbies and make up and made up wonderful, hilarious plays, which involved the infamous "Apricot Facial Scrub Domestic Violence" barbie. Good times good times. I remember the always feeling like a part of the family. An unofficial Asinger, if you will. They were all always so accepting of me. I remember going to family reunions, parties at "Aunt Mary's in the country", and late night Tripoli games at the Asinger dining room table. Some random memories also include walking through JC Penny watching Kathi bust a move to an erythmics song, on the eve of her hysterectomy, walking to National Grocery Store late at night to visit Theresa the salad bar queen, rock a bowl's, skating in the tennis courts and so many, many more.

I was honored to be the only other person in the delivery room for both of Theresa's children, one of which is my fabulous Godson, Joesph. There were more Asinger's in my wedding than Walewski's I think, lol....Theresa, Jessica and Joey. Theresa is Allison's Godmother. We are family, regardless of the blood relation.

In the process of knowing the Asinger kids and Mom and Dad Asinger, I of course was there for the cousins...mainly Jennifer, Jessica and Adrienne. They were also like my sweet cousins, or little sisters. I loved, and still love those girls.

And one of those sweet girls got married last night. Jessica.

Jessica is and always has been an amazing person. As a child, she was a strawberry shortcake look alike, and as funny, smart and cute as could be. Jessica's childhood was less than ideal, in many regards, but she was always the shining light of the darkness. She was always the girl everyone knew would be OK. She had a way about her that was determined and talented and loving and sweet....and every other positive thing you could come up with. And the girl could dance.

I remember when she went off to college. Going to college isn't something my own family is too familiar with, and she was the first to go to college in her immediate family as well. I remember being so proud and happy for her. Then when she moved to Arizona, I remember thinking how awesome she is, and how proud I was that she was brave enough to go and start a new life, far from those who loved her.

Fast forward to last night. If you knew Jessica, and you knew what she has been through, and the what she has fought and survived, you too would feel the love in your pit of your stomach like I did last night. When I saw her walk though the door with Alex last night, it took my breath away. She was absolutely beautiful.

Jessica was the most beautiful bride I have ever seen.

Part of her beauty comes from her smashing good looks, but the other half is her fantastic heart, and love of others. She is just beauty inside and out.

I was so moved with her beauty, and knowing some of her journey to get to where she is.

So back to how I started this story...The Asinger family was at the wedding last night, of course, and it was just a beautiful thing. My life has been made better by knowing all these people.

I love them.

I love you Jessica! Have happiness till the end of time sweetheart!!!

Say Cheese!

2010-09-04T19:36:00.000-07:00

Today was a beautiful day. It is the beginning of September, and for the first time in a few months, the weather allowed you to have your house windows open. The kids played outside in the backyard while I cleaned, and I was able to hear them! The sun was shining and warm, yet in the shade you would be at the perfect temperature if you had on long sleeves. There was an ever so soft whisper of a breeze. It was pretty much as close to perfect as you could ask for.

After I had cleaned enough to see that I had done anything at all, I felt empowered enough to take the kids to the park. I felt like that would be a "Good Mom" thing to do. I will admit, I don't do it often enough, because truth be told, I'm lazy. So, in my "Good Mom" mode, I put Juli and Audrey in the wagon. Mason and Alena both rode their scooters, and neighbor friend Jordan rode her bike. Off we went, and walked to the park.

"Yay!" I thought to myself. "I'm actually doing something fun with the kids! I can say I wasn't a total failure as a mother this day" I told myself.

We were at the park for some time. Of course, my lazy self sat listening to my iPod while constantly scanning counting the kids, to make sure none of them escaped. This was nice. I was in the shade, with that above mentioned whisper of a breeze. The kids were running, climbing, pushing/shoving, swinging, laughing, and all sorts of park stuff. Life was good.

After we had been there about an hour, Audrey decided she wanted to take her shoes off. That of course, was not OK with me, if she wanted to run around the playground. So I made her sit on the bench by me. "Let's take a picture of this perfect, "Good Mom" moment," I thought.

"Say Cheese!", I said to Audrey. She made this crazy looking face. (See picture) So I say, "Let's do another one"....

Then it happened. The slap in the face that brought me out of my "Good Mom" day dream. Audrey decided to sit Indian style for the next picture.

I didn't take the next picture. Because it was at that moment, that I realized that my sweet little red headed child, at some point in the day before we left to go to the park, lost her underwear. So, there she sat.....for all the world to see....

It was suddenly time to go home. "Good Mom" left the building at that point.

Not Just Another New School Year!

2010-08-21T09:04:00.000-07:00

Every last day of school, I know in the back of my mind that the "next" school year is looming right around the corner. I am on "Team LOVE summer vacation". Strangely enough, there is another Team out there called "Team GET back TO school". But for me, I soak in the almost three months of not fighting with kids to get up, go to sleep, do their homework, or brush their hair. I enjoy not having to worry about getting FIVE lunchboxes ready, or making sure I have all pieces of uniforms ready to go, or having to worry about classroom drama or lost school papers. I LOVE the ease of getting up when they are awake, going to the pool, and wearing flip flops every single day. I love sprinklers in the backyard, trips to the snocone stand and most of all, I love daylight hours before I wake until just about the time I am ready to call it a day. But, as they say, all good things must come to an end.

The end of summer 2010 had a slightly different feel to it, however. This coming school year will not only be all the bad things that I described above, but also full of new and exciting things! I welcomed this new school year with sadness AND excitement.

Four of my children will continue to go to Immaculate Heart of Mary School. Sadly, a lot of families, and a lot of my friends children have decided to go to a different school this year, for reasons that have not been made known to me, and that is OK. They will be sorely missed, but I wish them all the luck in the world. However, I will say that I am so glad that my children are returning to this school. Having had a St. Louis City Public School experience, I can tell you that there is a LOT to be said about IHM. For our family, I love being able to walk to school. I LOVE knowing so many families there. I LOVE that it isn't such a big school. I LOVE that talking about GOD is encouraged and not against the law. I LOVE Mrs. Zambo, lol. I love the "Village" there that helps me with my children. Yes, there are plenty of things that could benefit from change. But at this time, as long as we are able to afford to continue to send our kids there, I thank the Lord. It is going to be a great year. I KNOW IT!

Now, the biggest excitement of this year is the school change for Julianne. A miracle has happened, and we are able to send this wonderful child to this fantastic school, Miriam School. After being in a classroom of 30 children for the past two years, she is now in a classroom with 9 children. NINE children who share the same struggles as she has. She is welcomed every morning with hugs and "Hello Julianne"'s. She gets to take breaks from learning to bounce on bouncy balls, dive into the ball pit, do ALL kinds of OT things. When I pick her up, she is chewing gum, and this first week, has been exhausted! This school is a dream come true. I've said it 1000 times, but I just know she is going to blossom here. This would not be possible if it weren't for some great people in this world, who believe in Julianne, and trust that she is going to be as great one day, as I know she will be.

So....here we go. School year of 10/11. I had my boy start Kindergarten. My baby baby started preschool. My oldest started 6th grade, and my sweet middle child started 4th. And Julianne...well she is officially "ungraded", and I LOVE that.

From here to Eternity...

2010-05-31T08:22:00.000-07:00

From a very early age, I knew about death. I feel that I knew about death way too young, and way too often. And I always knew that it wasn't fair.

When I was 11, my wonderful grandma died of lung cancer. I adored my grandma, and still to this day, think of her every single day. Not fair.

When I was about 12 or so, my good friend Dawn's cousin died. She wasn't very old, 2 maybe. Christi was her name. She lived down the street from me. This was shocking and unexpected, and it set the tone in my life for the knowledge that in an instant we, or anybody we love, can die in a heartbeat. Because that is what happened with Christi. She had the flu, and then just died. Just like that. Not fair.

Shortly after that, a year or two later, my same good friend Dawn's little cousin Patrick died. He too was very little. 3 years old maybe. He went in for heart surgery, and didn't come home. It wasn't supposed to happen like that. I remember my mom telling me this news as I came home from school one day. I remember running down the street to tell my friend Theresa...and then we walked and cried...because she too knew these kids... and it wasn't fair.

Later in high school, Matt commited suicide. Matt was the brother of one of my very best friends in this whole world. He was 16. This, again, was another turning point in my life where again, it was reiterated that we, and those we love, can die in a split second. Because that is what happened. One millisecond on a trigger of a shotgun, and forever you are gone. Not fair.

Later, in my adult life, a good church friend lost her little boy after a long and horrible fight with a mean cancer. He was 5. His name was Nick. Not fair.

And people wonder why I have anxiety and fear and worry. It could have something to do with growing up in fear of people dieing. And after some thinking this morning, I believe these deaths may have also helped contribute to my subcontious need to be in control of something, hence my eating disorder beginnings in those formative years. Funny to think that the deaths of others, could somehow almost contribute to my very own death by starvation and the numerous other variations.

Yesterday somebody else went to heaven. It was my friend Heather's little boy. Carter Jay. Not fair. I know know know that there is a bigger picture to all of this. And I know that faith grows in sorror. I know that there is a reason for these things. I know that God has a plan.

But human hearts hurt.

I have this song that I absolutely love...and haven't listened to it in years. But I will dedicate this to Heather today.

For My Aunt Mary...

2010-05-08T14:00:00.001-07:00

Just like I said I would get for you....:)

Open My eyes!

2010-05-02T10:18:00.000-07:00

Open My Eyes! That was my prayer today at church. I know that God has a plan, and he plans things on his own time. I KNOW things *always* work out...often times, they work out in ways we could have never imagined. Good or bad, that is how it works. :)

So, our family has some things going on. Some very exciting things, and some very upsetting things. All that require some thought and planning on how to deal with.

Today, when I went to church, I prayed to the Good Lord to "Open my eyes" to see where it is I am supposed to go with my needs, or where I am to turn or what it is I am supposed to understand.

Amazingly, while walking home, somebody drove by and stopped me. He gave me some very important good news! I told him that I had come to church praying for my eyes to be opened....and I felt this was a sign that He had heard me.

Thank you Jesus.

So, as always with me, music helps me deal with emotional things. So, while searching youtube, I found something by accident. I am going to share with ya'll.

I like it because:
a: It was the message I was praying for today.
b: I love this song.
c: I LOVE acoustic guitar.
d: The guy singing is cute and he does a great job.

It is my prayer that ALL of you reading this can OPEN your EYES to the LORD today.

As overheard in the "W" house...

2010-05-01T15:33:00.000-07:00

The scene: Mom is rinsing strawberries and cutting the tops off of them, and placing them in a bowl for the kids to eat. Mason is standing there watching. Enter Alena with her now empty bowl that once held strawberries.

Alena: MOM!!! I asked Mason to wash off some strawberries and bring them to me, but when I started eating them, I realized he washed them with SOAP and WATER!!!!! They tasted DISGUSTING!!

Mason: NO!!! NO I didn't! I didn't use soap and water. I licked them clean.

Nothing short of a miracle...

2010-04-30T11:20:00.000-07:00

For the past couple of years, I had been urged to check out The Miriam School. It is a school for children with learning disabilities, and children performing below their potential. For years, I looked at the website, and dreamed of being able to send Julianne to such a school. But, then I would see the cost of such a school...and quickly sigh and realize that it was never, ever going to be possible. Unless we were to win the lottery.

Well, we didn't win the Money Lottery, but we have had something even better happen.

This year, when The Miriam School had their open house, I went. I had to. This year I was faced with the very real question of "What are we going to do with Julianne next year?"

At the open house, I about died. I couldn't believe that everythig they did, everything they said, everything they utilized and believed in, was exactly what I ahd been looking for and dreaming of for year. It was, as Oprah would say, a light bulb moment. It was at that moment that I realized that Julianne HAD to go to this school.

The Miriam School Mission:

The mission of the Miriam School is to encourage children with multiple learning disabilities to recognize and successfully meet their potential.

Seriously! That is a strong statement. To be able to recognize your potential, and to successfully meet it! For children who struggle with what the rest of us take for granted, this is HUGE!!!!

Another HUGE sell for me was the fact that they actually have the time and ability to individulaize a plan for EACH child.

Students may stay at the Miriam School for three to four years to acquire the tools they need to succeed in a classroom and then transition into a public, private or parochial school with more traditional academic support. Families may also choose to stay at the Miriam School throughout the elementary and middle school years.

From their website:

We assist children with learning disabilities through:

A nurturing, structured environment that facilitates growth in the areas of academic and social skills
Small ungraded class sizes (1:10 teacher/student ratio)
Specialized occupational therapy for students exhibiting sensory and/or motor deficits
Specialized speech and language therapy for students exhibiting deficits
An individualized education plan (I.E.P.) tailored to each child's unique needs and strengths
An 8:1 ratio full-day Early Childhood Special Education Program serving students beginning at age four
Art, music and physical education classes which enhance self-esteem and creativity
Open communication between parents and faculty
Professional faculty consisting of certified Special Education Teachers, Registered Occupational Therapists and Licensed Speech and Language Pathologists
Extended Day Care
Advocacy and Support Services
Transition Services

I will admit something bad here. I am ashamed to have even thought it. ... Not everybody can go to this school. You have to at least have a low normal IQ. Juilanne went and spent an entire day there in April to see if she would be a candidate to go to their school. I am ashamed to admit that I was worried that she might not qualify to go there....or, in my own thought, maybe she isn't "smart enough". :( Guilt forever be with me for thinking that.

So...here is the miracle part.

Somehow, we were granted a HUGE tuition reduction. We are still left with a substantial amount, but it is an amount that we can imagine somehow making it work. We still haven't ironed out all the kinks, and we have small fires burning to help us with this...but we did it!!

WE OFFICIALLY SIGNED HER UP!!!! Contract was dropped off today. It's official.

Today, is the beginning of what I KNOW will be a very beautiful and awesome start to Julianne's future.

And I owe a big thank you to Laura Rose, Julianne's speech therapist from The Walker Scottish Rite Clinic. She has been my light in this dark tunnel called special needs. Thank you Laura.

Snapped from my car today!
The Front of the school:

The Back of the school, or as Audrey calls it, the park.

It's not a diary for God's sake...

2010-04-05T19:57:00.000-07:00

If you decide to have a blog, it is because you want people to know what you are typing, or saying, or thinking, or doing.

So then if you get all mad that people are reading your blog, and then you decide to delete it, maybe what you really want is a diary.

Just sayin'.

I have a blog to share what I feel is important, or funny, or silly. If I don't want the world to read it, I don't share it. :)

Happy Blogging Bloggers.

Allison. . .

2010-03-23T06:27:00.001-07:00

I plan on doing one for each child. However, that may take me years...

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Mason and Michael Jackson...

2010-03-08T06:51:00.000-08:00

As we all know, Michael Jackson recently died. I can pretty much assure you, that my children had no idea who he was before his death, but since he has died, they have become infatuated with him. I should say, Mason has. For Christmas, Alena got MJ's #1's CD. It is played in the car all.the.time. Mason really, really enjoys his music.

On one car ride last week, he said to me:

"Mom, what is a heart attack, and why did Michael Jackson have one? .... I wish he wouldn't have died because I really would have loved to meet him."

Maybe it is bad that I secretly giggled when he told me this. I mean, really...what preschooler is sad because they wished they had met Michael Jackson? Mason is, apparently.

So, this is the part of the story that made me decide to blog about it. Yesterday, on the way to one of the kids basketball games, we were (again) listening to the MJ Cd, and in particular, my favorite song....Man in the mirror.

Halfway through the song, Mason chirps up and says...

"OH!!!!! I always thought he was saying Man in the RIVER...."

Allison and I looked at each other, then burst out laughing. Now...every time I hear that song (which I do love)...I will forever sing....Man in the RIVER......

I love my Mason man.

Just Believe...

2010-02-24T21:18:00.000-08:00

I've spent a lot of time lately thinking about where Julianne will end up next school year. We are considering a lot of different things, and I have not yet been able to decide on what to do. I pray all the time for God to show me a sign, give me a clue, or guide me in the direction that I should be going with this. I'm still waiting. But I am confident that she will end up where she should be.

So, this may not be a sign...but maybe it was a clue. As you know, I struggle with worry about Julianne being able to read someday...and in the long run, take care of herself as a grown person. I am told I worry about too many things, and that I worry to much, and that I am going to worry myself into the ground. Sorry folks, it's what I do. So, as of late, I have really been thinking about what Julianne is capable of and what (and who) she will become as an adult.

A pretty cool thing happened. As I was walking into my living room from my kitchen, something caught my eye. It was on my mantle. It had been there for God knows how long, but I'd never even noticed. I have pictures on my mantle. I also have little knick knack things too. Well....this is what I happened to *SEE* ...

So, Dear God....I got your message...and thank you.

Boob Tube Off!

2010-02-23T19:27:00.000-08:00

One night last week, I decided that it was just time to turn our TV off. The constant background noise was finally getting on my nerves. So, to my happy surprise, the kids actually found a way to entertain themselves.

Julianne found a box of cards that I had purchased off ebay many, many years ago. She and Mason decided to make everybody and their brother a special card. LOTS of cards were made....with stickers and address labels and markers and tape. It was nice to see the kids having fun doing something other than watching TV.

Soon enough, Alena and Audrey joined in the fun. This went on for about an hour...which, with no TV, seemed like a lifetime. :)

And big sis, this is what she was doing...

Happy Valentines Day...

2010-02-14T08:40:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentines Day to all. What a nice idea it is, to have a day set aside just to say "I love you" to those you love. The kids love it at school....and a lot of big people love it too.

I remember when "Valentines Day" was something magical..magical in the same sort of way that a birthday is to a little one. When I was young, I remember being filled with anticipation to see what special thing Mom would have for us when we got home from school. Usually it was a sweet treat, like a cupcake with hearts...or something like that. Whatever it was, it was special, and exciting, and something that only happened on that special day.

When I got older, and Jeff and I were dating, the excitement was still there, only different. I remember putting together this whole plan with a few other friends where we rented a limo, and did not tell the men, and then took them to a fancy restaurant for dinner. How romantic, right? I remember the "in love" aspect being magnified on Valentines Day.

Well, many years have passed, and life has changed...and it has been many, many years where I felt any excitement about Valentines Day. No extra love, no cards, no candy.... and not just from my husband, but from me as well. Blame it on being too busy, too poor or too lazy, it is what it is. This is how it went today....Jeff said, "You didn't get me anything for valentines day, did you?" me...."No." Jeff, "Good."

It's sad, isn't it. Not sad that we didn't get each other things, but sad that we have set our love for each other on the back burner. We have work, kids, school, tuition, bills....all that takes a lot of dealing with... and on my part, worrying about. I still love him. He (hopefully) still loves me. But we have lost something...and need to find it again.

IHM Talent Show 2010...

2010-02-07T09:26:00.000-08:00

Fun fun fun!! That word sums it up for me. I enjoyed the talent show, and so did the kids. :) To be honest, I didn't mind all that much waiting out in the icy cold wind for an hour to be sure I got a seat. :) The conversations outside with the other moms were comical. :) ....and nobody liked waiting, let me tell you, but having been through this before, I knew I had to do it....and, since I've yet to be able to see my children in the Christmas program (due to lack of good seats), I was determined to be sure I got a good seat. And I did.

Mason sang and danced, and Julianne jumped to the song "Trading My Sorrows". I was worried that Julianne would not do anything but stand there, but she did what she was supposed to do!!! I was soooo happy! Mason had a last minute costume adjustment and decided he wanted to also wear his Halloween hat and cape. I had also made sweatshirts...Mason's said YES, and Julianne's said LORD. I think I smiled ear to ear during their entire song! Yay Kids!!!

Alena did a solo to the song "Butterfly Fly Away". She sang beautifully, and received many compliments on her sweet voice. :) I was so proud of her bravery and beauty.

All in all, it was a great mommy night. I only wish Jeff could have been there to see it too.

OK, Mom...don't kill me...

2010-02-03T20:56:00.000-08:00

I know my mom will HATE me for showing ya'll this picture I am about to show you. But, hopefully, she will forgive me. Because she loves me, and that is what parents do, right...forgive you? :)

The above mentioned picture was taken one day shortly before Christmas. It involves Julianne sitting on the back of the couch, "fixing" Gramma's hair. She does this all.the.time. if you let her. Gramma lets her. I took a picture to add to my collection of "Julianne fixing Gramma's hair" pictures.

But something happened...and this is what my snapshot resulted in:

Gramma and I laughed and laughed and laughed at this picture! Julianne was actually choking her! Forever...this picture, and the memory of when I snapped this picture, will be one of my favorite picture taking memories. I love you mom.

I love this video...that's why.

2010-02-01T22:06:00.000-08:00

BEDTIME DANCE-OFF...

2010-02-01T21:20:00.000-08:00

Today was one of those days for me. For no real particular reason, other than the million little reasons, I progressively became crabbier and crabbier. It is becoming increasingly loud in my head...the chaos, that is. The chaos that is my home and my life, and my inner dialogue. I've got several things to work on...to change...and to face and figure out. If only I had the time and desire to do so.

So, as you can imagine, it is often loud at my house. Of course, having five children can be loud, but I also seem to have even louder than normal children. All of them seemingly trying to be louder than the next...all trying to get my attention at the same time. One of them is usually giving me attitude and testing me all the ever loving time. Another one seems to only have a dialogue of whine. One of them is in constant fast motion and living on the edge...forever testing the laws of gravity and Murphy's law. The other two are just LOUD and crazy.

I love them. I love them to death, and it is not their fault that I get annoyed quickly sometimes. Today was one of those days. I even told them that I was crabby, and that they should just not try and talk to me. That's terrible, isn't it....but I felt it was fair, and kind of me, at the time.

So, Monday night consists of perpetual movement, as usual. Get kids home from school. Do snack and play, and try to get some homework done. At 4:30, I take one to basketball practice. At 5:15 I take another one to "night school". At 6:00, go back and pick up the one from basketball practice. 6:30 is when "night school" is over. On the way back from "night school", I dropped off our first ever red box rental, and stopped and got myself a soda. And of course...when I got back from all that, it was time to sit down with my girlie who didn't go to school today because she was sick, and work on all 15 or so pages of homework that was brought home to her. (Geesh, I hate homework, even when it isn't mine....)

I know, you are all probably gone by now, because this is pretty boring...trust me, I know, I'm living it.... But, imagine if you will this scene. Mom is still UBER cranky, trying to help a child with all this homework, while one child sits next to me crabbing about her chicken patty being cut up, when she wanted it whole...and other child keeps climbing on me, crying because she wants a drink of my God Forsaken diet pepsi, while the ever moving boy is crashing into every wall he can find, because "it's fun", and then Ms. Attitude is crabbing that I took back the red box movie before she got to finish it. ....and while all this is going on OUTSIDE of my body, my inner self is thinking these sorts of things: What dressdown clothes am I going to get out for the kids to wear? Damn, I really need to clean and organize around here. I sure hope we don't end up owing the tax man a million dollars. Just what am I going to end up doing with Julianne next year? Who is going to get these kids to the talent show dress rehearsal on Thursday....blah blah blah.

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo........ after dinner, it happened. God stepped in and said.."sit. enjoy." It started off with the kids practicing their Talent Show songs. Then, it turned into a "dance off" in my living room. The kids, all five of them, danced wildly in my living room as I sat on the couch, sipping my diet pepsi. They were having fun. True, honest fun. I sat there thinking to myself, that THIS is what today brought me. I will remember this scene in my head forever. They laughed until they cried, as did I.

I love my kids. Thank you God, for making me stop, sit and enjoy. Enjoy I did.

My Montage 1/17/10 at OneTrueMedia.com

2010-01-17T20:24:00.001-08:00

This was fun and easy to make. I've always been a sucker for slide shows...

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

How about them apples?

2010-01-15T08:51:00.000-08:00

Ok, so life as a parent is full of surprises. This we all know. Take for example, surprisingly in my 10+ years as a parent, I've never had to take the kids to the ER. Well, there was one time with Audrey when she was bitty, but for some reason, I'm not counting that time. However, since the beginning of 2010, which was only 15 days ago, I have had to take a trip with a child to the ER on two different occasions. You just never know, day to day, as a parent, what you will encounter.

So I am about to tell you a story of something one of my children told me last night. I will warn you right now, if you don't want to be grossed out, or have a visual image of something you'd rather not....I'd stop right here.

You've been warned.

Before bed, one of my children (who I will not name in order to protect their image, LOL) said to me.....

"Mom, when I wiped my butt there was red stuff on it..."

for a split second I got that mommy feeling of *oh no.......what could it be!!* But before I could continue with the thoughts of what it could be, she continued....

"But then I looked at it and realized it was just part of the peel from the apple I ate today."

Yep....no matter how long you have been a mom, you just are never ready to hear things like that.

Challenge and Change.

2010-01-08T11:02:00.000-08:00

Two words I read in a newsletter the other day. Challenge and Change.

That is where I am.

But really, that is where I always am.

I have so much I need to change.
But everything is a challenge to me.
Unless it involves me being left alone, it's challenging.

That can't be "normal". But it is my normal. I don't want to do anything.

Which of course, isn't good for anything.

Where to from here?

2009-12-14T18:01:00.000-08:00

Long time no blogging...yes, I know. Facebook has become so easy and fun for me, that I forget about blogging. Yet, here I am today.

Today's blog entry will be about my daughter Julianne, and our journey to help her.

I often feel bad for being sad or worried about Julianne and her disabilities, because let's face it, her learning disabilities are minor compared to many, many others. She is not autistic, thank God. She does not have a disability that inhibits her from letting her communicate her needs. She just has a learning disability. Just.a.learning.disability. Simple enough, but hardly.

I won't go into the long journey we have already taken in her short 7 years of life. I won't go into the details on how *I*, her mother, knew things weren't quite right from way, way early in the game....even as early on as 9 months old. I won't go into the excuses I got everywhere I turned...the "she'll grow out of it, she'll just start talking a blue streak one day, she lets her siblings do her talking for her, she is just behind on her own schedule, she is a picky eater, blah blah blah blah". I also won't go into the guilt I forever will feel for not just standing up as her advocate and saying...NO, it isn't JUST those things...something else is going on.

A quick rewind look at what Julianne has done so far would include a special education preschool room, occupational therapy, physical therapy, glasses, adhd meds, night school, camp for the learning disabled, speech therapy, music therapy, and many other things.

So here we are. We are faced with making a decision on what now. She currently attends school at our "home school". The school where all my other children attend. The school that is literally 2 walking minutes from my home. The school where I know the parents, and love the teachers, and feel the family and church attachment to. She is in her second year of Kindergarten there.

But there will be no third year of Kindergarten.

This is the part that hurts. I want so badly for there to be special educators there, at our "home school" to help children like her. If other schools have such programs, why can't ours? She can't really go on to 1st grade there, because she isn't a typical first grader, and there is nobody to work on an individual pace with her.

We are now faced with finding the best fit for her. A different school. That pains me to even type it out. A different school. Different than the one she is used to. Different than the one where the teachers who care for her are. Just a different school.

So many things to think about. And it is sad that money also has to be a factor in the decision. Sucks.

Today I went and checked out a "Learning Center" in one of the local Catholic schools. I had hopes that it would be something good for us. It is super close. It sounded like a great concept...a few, 6-8 kids with learning disabilities, grouped together in one class for all the core subjects...to work at their own pace. The teacher was super nice. I have no doubts she is an extremely nice lady who cares about her students.

With that said, I was not impressed. At all. It seemed chaotic to me, even though there were only 8ish students in the room. It was a very visually busy room. Stuff written everywhere. But the thing that really made me squirm in my seat, was this little boy...a first grader, probably the same age as Julianne. He was told to do his work, and it had to do with the letter "L". He was really frustrated and couldn't figure it out. The teacher kept saying things like, "it's L. llllaaa llllaaa...." She kept telling him to look up and find the letter L, on the letter banner thingy, way above the blackboard. It was a banner that had the entire alphabet on it...and not to mention, the letters were in CURSIVE!!!!! Seriously. :( I guess you had to be there, and be me, to understand what I am saying. But it was rough to watch, and realize that this was not going to be the answer I had been hoping for. This was just one thing that bothered me.

Sigh.

It's OK. I am confident we will find the answer for where Julianne should go next year. It just makes me sad that she will be leaving (again) people who love her and believe in her.

Mason Man

2009-08-29T19:43:00.001-07:00

My son. He is something I tell you. He is a complete ball of energy, with an exceptional eye for a good "gadget". He loves gadgets. He is fascinated with guns, even though we don't own one, and never talk about them, and I hate them. He has always loved to play dress up...with four sisters, can you blame him? He also loves to pick out his own clothes, which is something I only allow him to do on days we are going nowhere. If you follow this blog, you've seen previous samples of his work. Today was a doozy of a dress himself day. Today he put on jeans,and I am not sure if they were boy or girl jeans. He stuffed his pockets full of all the gadgets he could find. I think those included were a big lock, keys, a flashlight, and I forget but something else. He then put on a big tall pair of adult biker boots. They go all the way up past his knees. Then, he completed the outfit with his most prized clothing posession...his vest from last years Christmas outfit. He was stunning, and he knew it.

Enjoy the pics. :)

Natalie's wedding adventure...

2009-08-24T07:26:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we made the trip to Michigan that we had been looking forward to all year. It was Natalie's wedding weekend. Natalie is Jeff's sister Cheryl's daughter. Although I hardly even got to see Natalie, or much of the family, for that matter, it was just so awesome to be there. I only wish there were more hours in the day.

I often hear people talking about their in-laws and how horrible they are, or how they wish they lived elsewhere, or just downtalking them. When I hear that, I am just reminded about how incredibly lucky I am to have the "extended family" that I have. I certainly married into the right one, that's for sure! Not only are there SO MANY of them, and they are all incredibly friendly, welcoming and sincere...but they also live in such a BEAUTIFUL state. Michigan is as pretty to me as any vacation we've taken.

Jeff comes from a large family, and his mom and dad had seven children....Kevin, Cheryl, John, Patty, Jeff, James, and Joe. There are over 20 grandchildren at his point, and one great-grandchild. There are always great stories of "remember when" being told. I have been part of this family since I married Jeff in 1996...and I look forward to every single visit we get to make.

This visit was even more special because Gramma June was home! We nearly lost her a few weeks ago...but here she was, as wonderful and as loving as ever! She was still very tired, and obviously she had lost some weight, so the use of a wheelchair helped her to make it through the long wedding day. We love Gramma June so much....and leaving her this time was harder...and I did shed some tears. But...true to Gramma June form, she had Mason's birthday card to give him. She is SUCH a wonderful person, and my husband is lucky to have her as a mom, and I could not have asked for a more perfect mother-in-law.

Ok Ok Ok....so, this wedding. Or weddingS, if you will. Natalie and her beau, Aravind, have known eachother for a very, very long time. Nat is a sweet little catholic girl, and Aravind is hindu. His parents are from India. He has lived in the USA forever, but his heritage is alive and well in his family. So this was quite the cultural event for our family. In the morning was the Hindu ceremony. I believe this usually is a 3 day long event, but they condensed it into a 3 hour event. Jeff, Alena and Julianne went, while I stayed at the hotel with the other kids....because Allison was sick that morning. We went at noon for the brunch of Indian food. It was fun to taste things we had never even heard of. Some things were good. Some, well...weren't. :)

The Catholic ceremony was in the evening, held at the same place, the banquet center. Natalie had on a beautiful white dress....and that is all I know, lol. Audrey and Mason were not being very quite, so I had to take them out into the hall. :( Someday...I will be able to sit through an entire event, won't I?? For the reception, the kids had to go back to the hotel, where my sister in laws sister babysat. The bigger girls were extremely disappointed that they couldn't go, stating that they were not "children"...but rules are rules. It was awesome to mingle with that side of the family that we never get to see. I miss them. Jeff misses them. But a good time was had by all.

So on to the fun part...pictures.

When we first arrived in Michigan, our first stop was Jeff's brother James and his wife, Susan's new home. They JUST moved in. Boxes weren't even unpacked, yet they were having us, and brother John and his family (in from Texas) over. Not only do they have the "biggest house of anybody we know", they also both have the biggest hearts of anybody we know. The kids were in amazement over the "dream home", and all the fun stuff in there. :) I was just soaking in all the goodness from talking with my sister in law Susan, whom I love...and James... There is nothing but good that comes from these two. We love you. And we loved playing with cousins while there as well. Here are some pics:

First thing the kids see...and spent HOURS in there.

Playing Princess dress up. Thank you Frankie for sharing your dresses!

George playing with his Robot made by Uncle James. :)

"Loom Mom! It's taller than me!!!"

The kids also started a band while there. I'll call them the "Upstairs Sensory Overloading" band. Ha! If you can tolerate the loudness...here is a clip of a jam session:

And to document...WE ALL Love HOTEL's. :)

Jeff took about 100,000 pictures of the Hindu ceremony, but I'll post some of the best. :)

Some from the rest of the night...

I tried (with my crappy camera) to get a good shot of how beautiful this looked...I didn't do so good. But it WAS pretty.

Patty, Susan and James.

The kids with Gramma June. We were trying to take this in the middle of a hallway, and people kept walking through...and so, I am soooo sorry Grampa Joe for cutting your head off.

On the L O N G trip home...ha ha ha.

And there is nothing better after a long road trip...and seeing the Arch...knowing you are HOME!

A chair for Jason...

2009-08-02T08:52:00.000-07:00

Jason, I hope you don't mind me stealing this picture..but I just LOVE it. :)

Here is my "BIG" cousin Jason, in an even bigger chair. :)

Pictures...

2009-08-01T13:54:00.000-07:00

For my wonderful family members who want to see some pics...but I have them posted on facebook...click link below. :) There are some great ones of the kids at the pool.

I'm too lazy today to upload all the pics to here right now.

Love ya.

CLICK ON THESE WORDS.

A-B-C's...

2009-08-01T11:24:00.001-07:00

We all do it. At one point in our early years, we learn the A-B-C's. Mason, my nearly 5 year old, pretty much knows all of the letters. Smart boy. He will be reading soon.

To my excitement, Audrey named a bunch of the alphabet letters on the fridge today. I didn't realize she knew so many. What a smart girt!

I am so happy that my little guys are growing and learning so much.

But my happiness gets a little quelched when I think that Julianne, nearly 7...can't. Try as we might, she just struggles to remember most of them. I worry that she will soon realize that these little people are passing her up. I wonder if that will make her want to try harder, or if it will make her want to give up.

The Jump...

2009-07-25T11:53:00.000-07:00

As you may or may not know...Miley Cyrus' song, "The Climb", is like my life motto at this time.

Some of the lyrics:

I can almost see it

That dream I'm dreaming

but There's a voice inside my head sayin,

You'll never reach it

The struggles I'm facing

The chances I'm taking

Sometimes might knock me down but

No I'm not breaking

Now, if you are like most people, you laugh at that, and tell me I am a nerd for liking Miley Cyrus at my age. But that's OK. It's a great song, that speaks to me.

Yesterday, while at the pool, I witnessed my daughter face a mountain, and she climbed it!!! My oldest daughter, Allison...is my mini me. I see me in her, and quite frankly, sometimes it saddens me. I was not the happiest kid, and was even less happy as a teen.... and to think that she may be just like me in that regard, is worrisome. However!!! she did something yesterday that proves to me that she is strong. She stared FEAR in the face, and pushed through it.

Just this year, Allison has really taken off in swimming. A girl, who at age 8 was still afraid to put her face in the water, now swims with ease. Just two weeks ago, she finally started jumping into the deep end, and realized she could do it easily. Ever since then, she has been struggling with wanting to jump off the diving board. Nothing fancy, just a jump. ......but she was afraid.

So yesterday, she was determined to do it. For the longest time, she practiced jumping into the deep water from the side without her goggles on...because you are not allowed to jump off the diving board with goggles. I swear she must have done that 100 or more times....just to be sure.

So, she finally gets up the courage to "do it". So I move closer, and get my camera.

I watched her gut wrenching attempts to touch the board and stand on it. She would get close, then have to go "practice" again, just to be sure.... Finally, she was able to get on the board, and walk on it. But not to the end. It was scary. She got off. Got back on. Walked a little further...got off. ALMOST gave up....but didn't. Finally, she walked to the end of the board....but backed off one more time.

I could see in her face the emotions I know all to well from my own inner self. She wanted to do this so badly, but was so afraid to, and was getting mad at herself for not being able to do it. After one last little pep talk, she got on the board again. And walked to the edge.

And Jumped.

That was facing fear folks.....She climbed a mountain, and came down the other side. I have not felt more proud ever.

Here are two videos. My battery was running low....as you can imagine, because she did this for soooooooooo long. But I got a try, and success. :) Keep in mind, that she must have walked on and off that diving board 10 times... and pretty much as soon as she hit the water, my camera turned off.

Go Allison! Mom is so proud of you.

A try:

and then success:

Just some pictures...

2009-07-19T06:54:00.000-07:00

OK, I've been a bad bad blogger lately. Ever since I joined the world of Facebook, I've become a blog slacker.

Hollye and Brant are visiting for a few weeks. The kids couldn't be happier to have cousins to play with.

The End of an Era...

2009-06-28T08:49:00.000-07:00

The crib era, that is.

Five kids, one crib. One used crib, at that. But...no more crib in this house. :)

Audrey is a big girl now. No more paci, no more pull ups, no more crib.

Wow...

2009-06-26T08:22:00.000-07:00

Mason is a very particular "dresser". He likes to wear what HE likes to wear...and that is ALL! He has only 2 pairs of shorts that he "agrees" with, and the shirts...well...

So yesterday, I told him to go get dressed. He was sooooooo super pleased with his choices. I, however, wasn't. But he DID NOT want to change.

I took a picture to document how "pretty" this outfit was. The pants were not only GIRL pants, but also about 3 sizes too small. The shirt, which was made at a Girl Scout Meeting, was a halloween shirt. Oh, and as a bonus, it was on backwards. He thought he "did good". (insert eye roll here). So, while taking his picture, baby sister Audrey was not pleased that he was getting this "attention". Lookie and see:

Fathers Day 2009...

2009-06-25T11:08:00.001-07:00

I love this picture. I love my Dad and I love my children's dad.

Just some swimming pics...

2009-06-15T18:07:00.000-07:00

Summer Rocks!

Good Deed. . .

2009-06-15T17:34:00.000-07:00

When: Today, Monday morning, 6:38 am.

Where: Quik Trip @ Gravois and Loughborough.

Mission: Get Frozen Cappuccino and Humungo Diet Pepsi to take with me to work.

Upon walking up to the front door of the above mentioned Quik Trip, there was a sudden barrage of people all descending to the doors at the very same time. Strangely enough, this happens everywhere I go. I notice a young lady drop a $20 bill onto the ground. She almost goes inside before I stop her, and say..."You just dropped $20". She stops. People walk around her to get inside. She turns and picks up her $20 bill. She says, "Well, that would have sucked".

I was informed later today by an informant, that the phrase, "Well, that would have sucked" is loosely translated into, "Oh My Gosh! Thank you so so much for telling me that, and not just keeping it for yourself! What an awesome good deed you just did."

Mission Good Deed accomplished.

Let's Go Red Wings!

2009-06-07T12:12:00.001-07:00

Ok, I'm not really a die hard Red Wing fan. Back in the day where I had time to actually care about things, I was a die hard Blues fan. Jeff, from Hockeytown, falls in love with and marries a big Blues fan! It was a match made in heaven! We used to have a great time with trying to brainwash our children into stating they were a fan of the Blues..or the Red Wings. :)

Well, Jeff and I have been married for 13 years now. I do love hockey. The Blues have struggled to even make the playoffs, every year. I love how much Jeff loves his team, and I've grown to also have a soft spot in my heart of the Red Wings as well. In fact, unless and until the Blues do "something", I'm going to put a smile on and say "Go Wings!"

The Red Wings are ONE win away from winning yet ANOTHER Stanley Cup Championship! And if any city deserves some fun and great news such as another Stanley Cup win, it is Detroit. Unless you live under a rock (in which case, lucky you!!!) you know that Detroit has been slammed head first by the economy meltdown. Pretty much all of Jeff's family is in Detroit or other parts of Michigan, and we know all too well of the devastation and ilth of the way of the world there right now.

So here is where I give my husband BIG PROPS for wearing his Red Wings jersey last night at our church picnic. Countless people were heard randomly shouting "Red Wings SUCK!". Nice at a church event, eh? Granted, there is a long standing rivalry between the Red Wings and and the Blues, but come on. But he just smiles and grits his teeth. When we were walking home from the event, however, there was a small group of "young" people walking near us. I had to stomach listening to them talk about how they were going to go do "shots" of some sort of liquor somewhere. (if you know me, I loathe drunks....) But when they crossed over to the other side of the sidewalk, some doofus schmuck yells, "Red Wings SUCK!". Oh so original. *eye roll* Jeff kept his cool....but I yelled back for them to watch it, there were "little ears". (kids were walking with us).

So, stupid people....it's just a jersey! It is not like Jeff, or any other person wearing a Red Wings item, is actually a player for the team. So keep your stupid mean idiotic comments to yourself.

Oh....

And GO RED WINGS!!!!!!!

Julianne in the Dugout...

2009-06-05T07:16:00.000-07:00

The Walker Scottish Rite Clinic is so awesome. Last night, thanks to the WSRC, Jeff got to take Julianne to the St. Louis Cardinals game, and watch the batting practice from inside the Dugout. How cool is that!!!

Mr. Pujols himself...

The Dugout...

A view from the Dugout...

Julianne drinking PowerAde from the players coolers. I love this picture. :)

Julianne and Tony Larussa. (coach)

I lost...

2009-06-02T19:39:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, I excitedly put my name on the ballot for the "Parish Advisory Board" for our school/parish. Just thinking about being on the board was thrilling to me. I yearn to be part of something important, something that involves the future and growth of our school and church.

There were only three of us on the ballot. Three. They were voting for TWO. So, 2 out of 3 would get a spot.

I lost. Go figure.

I'm pretty sure I would lose if it was me running against me. ugh.

Thank you for visiting my pity party. Please come again. :)

Let's Go to the Movies!

2009-05-30T13:28:00.001-07:00

Well, I mean, we WENT to the movies. :) Just me...and kid 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5! We almost took up a whole row of seats. Ha!

We decided to start summer vacation off with a BANG! After I picked the kids up from school, we went and got lunch from White Castles. Drove to the park and ate there. We ate in the car, but we were in the park. In the shade! It was just too hot to get out of the car. Then we went to Julianne's speech therapy, came home for a bit, and then we went! TO THE MOVIES! The kids were all excited, because this is something we don't ever do...well, except for the Hannah Montana movies....(which were more for me anyway!). We had to go to the bank first, to sign over our house to get the money to go to the movies....... ok kidding...but, let's just say....this was a big big splurge. But worth it.

We pulled into the movie theater parking lot, and the kids see this HUGE thing of balloons on top of the movie theater. Promotions for this movie, I suppose, but they got a kick out of that. We get our tickets, our popcorn, soda and candy...and head no in. The kids all loved it. I would have enjoyed it more if I wasn't trying to keep Audrey quiet (which she did really good, for the most part), or trying to get Juli and Mason to stay seated...as opposed to standing up and walking to the popcorn bowl. It did not have the "wow" factor, and the 3D effects were not very good or often...so I tell all of you.......you will NOT be missing out if you decide to see the "regular" version.

So....let summer begin. BRING It!

School is out!

2009-05-29T20:04:00.001-07:00

Here are a couple pictures from last Friday, when Julianne and Mason had their last days.

I did have a moment where I thought to myself, "I wonder if this is the only diploma Julianne will ever see", and then I bit my tongue on purpose to punish myself for even thinking that.

Yay for summer.

Look at me Mom!

2009-05-28T12:20:00.000-07:00

Want a taste of the "loudness" and "hyperness" of my home? Watch this, ha ha!

For my Family...

2009-05-25T21:30:00.001-07:00

My Aunt Francie and my Aunt Mary brought to my attention that I had not put any First Communion pictures up for them to see here. So...here you go. So sorry.

And for the fun of it, here are some from when Allison made hers as well.

Fun times in the backyard...

2009-05-23T19:40:00.000-07:00

Day 2 of summer vacation for Mason and Julianne. Fun times.

Oh, and that building in the background is my garage...and it is lined up for a paint job coming up soon. . . a la Jeff. ;)

Enjoy: :)

Bubble Bath in the Back Yard:

A Sensory Fiesta!

This is what happens when Mason gets to "Sit Out"...

This WORM was the highlight of the day...

A busted lip...

Too attached...

2009-05-22T21:21:00.000-07:00

I've decided that I am going to try very hard to not become personally attached to any more teachers that come into my children's life anymore. There really must be something wrong with me to have it be so upsetting to have a teacher not return. If this is how it is going to be every time a teacher leaves, I refuse to become attached to them. It's too painful to do otherwise.

Girl Scout Celebrations...

2009-05-17T06:28:00.000-07:00

Last night was the end of the year "Girl Scout Banquet" at IHM. I was very, very fortunate to have my awesome brother and almost sister in law graciously babysit Audrey and Mason so I could go with just my big girls. :) ((Thank you guys!!!))

So it started with 4:30pm mass, which was nice. Lots of girls in their girl scout uniforms. Cute to see. Then over to the gym after mass. We had a nice dinner, a nice awards ceremony and then we also got some entertainment. The Bishop Dubourg Swing Dancers came by for a little show.

A great time was had by all. I am so glad to have this group of girls and parents in my life. Here are some pics. :)

JULIANNE:

ALLISON'S TROOP:

ALENA'S TROOP:

JULIANNE WANTED TO MAKE SURE I GOT THIS PICTURE...

ALENA and HER BFF...(that's slang for best friend forever, people, lol!)

THE ENTERTAINMENT:

SNL funny!

2009-05-10T10:36:00.001-07:00

Not appropriate for young viewers...but OH SO FUNNY to us oldies.

Video Recaps | Full Episodes | Webisodes

Chores revisited...

2009-05-09T14:42:00.000-07:00

Week 2 of the "Chore Chart" was met with less enthusiasm than last week. But, we continue in a forward momentum. :)

This week Allison picked (from the jar) the *Kitchen*, and Alena gets the *Bathroom*. In true Allison form, she was very upset that Alena got the bathroom, because SHE wanted the bathroom. Yeah right...she has NO CLUE what that entails....ugh. So, I helped Allison get the kitchen done, teaching her ALL things that I would be expecting her to do....(and trust me, it "ain't" that much). She whined and moaned the entire time. (Insert momma eye roll here.) But she got it done.

Alena did the bathroom pretty enthusiastically, surprisingly.

So, yay for this chore thing to seemingly be taking us in the right direction.

And just for kicks, here is a pic of my nice, clean, uncluttered dining room. :) I just LOVE it when my shelves there in the background, aren't full of crap. :)

13 Things Your Pizza Delivery Man Won't Tell You...

2009-05-08T11:04:00.000-07:00

From the Readers Digest. And because Jeff is a "Pizza Delivery Man", I found this hysterical, and RIGHT on Target! Enjoy:

1. My other line is ringing, so choose the toppings before you call. Remember: It's a pizza, not a lifetime commitment.

2. We know when kids are prank-calling us. They can't mask their voices very well. The smart ones block the phone number. The dumb ones don't.

3. If I drop your pizza on the way, sometimes I'll shake the box to get the cheese to slide back on right.

4. Patience, please. It takes about 20 minutes to go from raw dough to fully baked pizza. And then I have to drive to your house.

5. In some neighborhoods, a kid getting out of a car with a pizza in his hands is like screaming, "Rob me! I have cash!" That's why we won't deliver to some neighborhoods.

6. When you see me drenched and shivering in the rain, it's not nice to close the door in my face while you search for some quarters in the sofa cushions.

7. When you open the door, please hang up your cell phone or put it down. It's basic etiquette.

8. I'd prefer that you have a shirt on (and definitely some pants).

9. Tips should be 10 to 15 percent of your order. If you order a lot of pizza—say, hundreds of dollars' worth, for a party or something—but give me a $1 tip, well, I'm going to have a problem with that.

10. The more gated the community, the more guarded the wallet. The best tips actually come from middle- and lower-class people who know what we go through.

11. I remember every customer who doesn't tip. I won't do anything to jeopardize my job, but shaking the soda on the next delivery would not be out of the question.

12. I'll knock on your door three times and call you on the phone twice. If you don't answer, don't call later to complain that you didn't get your food. I can't wait forever.

13. A guy once ordered pizza from me just so he'd have some help moving his sofa up a flight of stairs. I agreed to help him. He gave me a few extra bucks. I took it.

Girl Scout SleepOver...

2009-05-07T06:34:00.000-07:00

Oh what fun it is to play, when you are young and don't require sleep. :) The annual Girl Scout Sleepover was last Friday. Allison and Alena stayed all night, but Julianne, and the rest of the Daisies had to leave at 9pm. Here are the pics. :)

OK Mom...can you leave now?????

OK Mom, will you PLEASE stay with us?

Gym Fun!

I'm a mermaid...now can you leave mom?

An Oreo Smile!!!

Time for the Daisies to go home...na na na na, na na na na,

hey hey hey....goodbye!

Yay! Initiation is complete!

Sleeping Quarters for the 2nd graders.

Saturday morning....for hours, at home...ha ha ha ha!

Seriously!

2009-05-06T20:51:00.000-07:00

Ya know, I think I am a fairly nice person. I am always polite to the patients and Parents at work. I know that I am not rude, or mean or anything that is not nice. Or at least I think I am not. In fact, I am ALWAYS nice and kind and sweet and funny and all good things rolled up into a sweet roll. I am. Seriously!

I don't know what was up today, but me and "other people" were not getting along today. It all started with my first stupid phone call today at work, at the ripe ol' time of 7:00 am. Yeah, welcome to today, I thought to myself. Some mother wanted to bring her two sick kids in to see the doctor. I told her that they could have the 11:20 time slot, as that was the first available time, with the doctor she wanted to see. ugh. She went flipping stupid ballistic. "Oh my God. Oh my God...Oh my God".... (Seriously???) This dumb first phone call went on for about, oh, 10 minutes of the same stupid nonsense. She kept asking me if anybody would cancel so she could come in earlier...would anybody cancel? Would somebody not show? .... over and over and over. After so long, my sweet kind self can only take so much. So, maybe I shouldn't have, but I said...."ma'am, I can't predict the future. I do not know if somebody will cancel or not show."

Well, there it was. The ding dong start to my "Seriously?" day. The mom, true to her crazy form, told me that she had been up "way too long to take my kind of sarcasm....and is your name spelled with a K or a C"? Ha!

Later, a mom carrying her sleeping toddler comes in and says, "I can't sign in, she's sleeping." Really? Seriously? Uh, yeah...you have to sign. When her appointment was over and I gave her a card with her next appointment date and time...(the time on the card was 9:50 am) the *am* part was circled below the time, which I guess sort of made the "0" in the 9:50, look semi sort of like an 8. She says to me..."Um, is the appointment time for 9:50, or 9:58....do you often make that kind of mistake"? Oh no you didn't lady...Seriously?????

Later, a mom of a toddler was going to get a urine sample of the kiddo, while in the bathroom. I gave her all the needed supplies to get a "clean" sample. Do you know what she game me? A cup of pee with a turd floating in it. Seriously??? are you freaking Serious??? Well, we can't use that specimen. Please try again. ugh.

So, my day was spent wondering if I was just PMS'ing, or if the patients today were really that rude and stupid, or if possibly, it was ME that was rude and stupid.

But Seriously....thank God I am off work tomorrow.

too bad its staff meeting day, and I have to go with kids in tow. Seriously????

Way to Go Mom...(sarcasm)...

2009-05-04T21:24:00.000-07:00

Try as I might, I can't seem to always "have my act together".

I was feeling so "ahead" of myself this morning. I had the lunches premade. I had the backpacks all prepared to just slide right on and go. I had signed all the things that needed to be signed. I had the "spring picture" money in the envelope. I had the girl scout banquet money and reservation tucked inside Alena's girl scout book. I had signed and filled out all the papers requesting us to volunteer at the school picnic. Mason has his homework and his three signed things all ready to go. The school clothes were all laid out. Shoes/socks/glasses/hair brush and headbands all ready. As I left my house at sunrise, I felt confident that Jeff would have an easy-peasy morning, all due to me being so prepared and ahead of myself. Afterall, I do have a clean house now, thanks to my new chore designations!

Allison and Julianne got to dress down (not wear their uniforms) today because they were both going on field trips. Jeff was able to go with Allison on her field trip....fishing at Forest Park. They both had a great time.

All day long I wondered how Julianne was doing on her field trip. Was she too hot? I mean, I did send her with a hoody, because it was rather chilly this morning. Was she having fun? Was she having a melt down, and nobody could help her "recover" from it? Did she eat her lunch? Did she do OK on the bus ride? Hopefully her "bus sickness" has disappeared since last year. ALL DAY LONG I wondered how she was doing.

So, around 6 pm, I call home to see how the kiddos are doing. (Mondays I work looooong hours.) It is THEN...that I find out...that Julianne in fact, did NOT go on a field trip. The field trip is actually scheduled for May 14.

Oh.my.Lord. I am sooooooooo embarassed that my poor girl was told ALL WeEKEND that she would be going on a field trip today, and she packed a "brown bag" lunch....and...she didn't wear her uniform.... while all the rest of the class did. Because all the OTHER moms have their act together.

ugh.

Chore Challenge...

2009-05-03T10:06:00.001-07:00

It's a new day at the Walewski homestead. I have finally had enough. Housework that is. Today, we have implemented "Chores". Yes, not a unique concept, yet strangely unfamiliar here. But, today, we enter with enthusiasm. Or, shall I say, *I* enter with enthusiasm!!!

Last night, Allison and Alena picked out of a container, the room they would be assigned to. Allison got the dining room, and Alena got the living room. (Poor Alena...the living room will be hard I think.) Today, they cleaned their room, top to bottom, and they have a list of what they will need to do every night before bed to their "assigned" room.

They will also now be getting an allowance. Not very much, but something.

However, and this is my favorite part, they will be charged for every single item of theirs that I have to pick up or clean up. 10 cents for each item. :) I may not end up owing them anything for week, lol!

So, it only took me nearly 10 years to get this whole "chore" thing going. But I think I am going to like it. :)

A view from the Kitchen...

2009-04-25T19:21:00.000-07:00

I was playing around with my new(ish) camera. Here are some shots I enjoyed playing around with.

Love Letter to Jesus...

2009-04-24T18:23:00.000-07:00

Alena will be making her First Communion this Sunday.

Thanks to awesome Aunt Mary, we have a beautiful white dress, a gorgeous white veil, a super pretty necklace and perfect little bracelet. Oh, and can't forgot, aunt Mary also got the shoes.
(We love you Aunt Mary!!!)

So, besides the cake, the clean house, some tights, and, oh yeah, food, we are just about set! I still got tomorrow, right???
(someday, someday I will live ahead of the moment...at least I hope so.)

As I was looking through Alena's Friday folder in her backpack tonight, I found this folded up piece of paper. As I was opening it, Alena said, "Oh, I wrote that on our retreat."

Her class went on a retreat this past Tuesday, in preparation for this great event that is about to happen on Sunday.

So, I started to read this paper. At the top, the title is, "My Love Letter to Jesus".

Inside a bolded heart, Alena had written this:

Dear Jesus,
I really want to love like you. I know it's hard sometimes to obey you, but I'll do it for you. you are my treasure forever Jesus. I'll love you till the end even if it's hard or I sin. I will keep you in memory. I sin sometimes but I get it fixed. Jesus I love you.
Love, Alena

Yep, I cried.
:)

Spring break is over...

2009-04-24T08:15:00.000-07:00

And has been for a week, but I am so far behind myself....

And since NOBODY ever replys to me, wink wink, I don't even know if I am just typing to myself here or not...((MOM, do you need me to set you up so you can type to me???)) ha ha!

OK, so here are the FINAL pictures of spring break. These were from the Zoo. The crew consisted of: Me, Jeff, Bryan, Allison, Alena, Julianne, Mason, Audrey, Hollye, Brant and Dylan!!! Whew! But all the kids were awesome, and we didn't lose ANYBODY at ANYTIME! Go us!!

Ok, pics. Thanks for letting me share.

You can click on them to make them larger...

Brant and Julianne sharing a ride in the stroller...

Dylan!

Brant, Julianne and "Tinker"....(That's really not his/her name, I just made that up. LOL at myself!)

THISCLOSE to the Chimp!

Julianne!

The "Cousin Crew"...

I am showing all 3 of these pics, so you can see how this went down~

Just a pretty pic...

Hollye!

Dylan!

Brant!

King of the Hill, Mason!

Some pictures...

2009-04-19T09:24:00.000-07:00

While I have some time, I'll post some pictures of spring break fun. These are the pictures from Monkey Joe's. The Zoo pictures are still to come...they are on my other camera.

Audrey had the time of her life! She really, really enjoyed herself.

Not the greatest pictures, but this very tall slide, was climbed and slid down no less than 500 times per child that day. Great exercise!

Allison:

Alena:

Daddy keeping an eye on the kiddos!

Juli and Mason at the bottom of the big slide. This is the only picture Mason allowed me to take of him, ha ha!

Audrey "talking" to Dad while jumping on the trampoline.

Julianne giving us a "pose".

Alena having a great time.

Allison ready to go. She was hungry and tired.

Spring break Continued...

2009-04-18T10:55:00.001-07:00

So for a recap: Spring break went as follows...

Friday: Alena had a doctors appointment, and later that evening Uncle Bryan and Cammie got back in town with cousins Hollye and Brant. Allison and Alena stayed the night with them that night. Fun (and loud and chaotic) times, I'm sure!!!

Saturday: I drove all the way across town and picked up Allison, Alena and Hollye. Drove back to this side of town and picked up some more kids and went even further to the GYMNASTICS place for Alena's birthday party. See previous pictures of that event. It was a great time. After that, drove all kids home, made it back to the "other"side of town. Went and got Easter shoes for the kids. (Never will learn to be AHEAD of the game, will I?) Then drove all the way back home...again.

Sunday: Was Easter. I was exhausted. See pictures below.

Monday: Aunt Mary came over and watched the kiddos. She survived.

Tuesday: Grandma came over to watch the kids, and also brought Hollye and Brant with her. She survived as well. Later that night, after I got home from work, Allison, Alena, Hollye and I went to the late night movie to see The Hannah Montana Movie. It was an awesome time. Hollye stayed the night.

Wednesday: The entire gang, minus Ty and Cammie, went to the zoo. The adults, Jeff, Bryan and myself, kept doing "head counts" to make sure we still had the EIGHT kids. It was fun. Pics to follow. We all went over to Grandmas afterwards and then to the park. Unfortunately, Hollye and Brant's grandma came to town that night to bring them home. We will miss them terribly until they come back again...hopefully this summer.

Thursday: We didn't do a whole lot. Julianne had speech therapy in the morning. Then Jeff worked out in the yard, and then later went to work delivering pizzas. I really can't remember much of Thursday, lol. I do know, however, that I completely ZONED and forgot to take Julianne to her after school tutoring thingy. Oy.

Friday: Julianne had speech therapy in the morning. Then we all loaded up and went to Monkey Joe's. It's a bouncy inflatable sort of place. The kids...HAD A BLAST!!!! They ran and jumped and slid and played for two hours straight. It was great. Pics to follow. Then Jeff went to work again that night as well.

Saturday: Me and the girls woke up early to go to school to meet up with the other girl scouts for "Spring Showers". We had to put bags on a WHOLE big area of porches. Next week, they will pick them all back up, hopefully full of goodies for the needy. Jeff worked out in the yard again. Cousin Keith, from Michigan stopped by for a quick visit as he runs through town. Jeff worked again that night as well. .....gotta pay that tuition, ya know!! Go Jeff!!!

Sunday: I plan on doing laundry and cleaning house. Oh, and I should probably look through the bookbags that have been sitting by the front door for an entire week. :) I really hope nobody had a project to do over spring break....

Thank God for awesome weather, for a great family and for a wonderful Easter and spring break. God is good. Good good good.

Yay for SPRING BREAK!!!

2009-04-17T18:10:00.000-07:00

Well, we've had a nice time on Spring Break! Jeff and I both worked Monday and Tuesday, and then we both took the rest of the week off. :) Here are some pictures of our fun times! There will be more to come, as some of the pictures are on my other camera.

Sunday was Easter...

Audrey...it was cold, but she wanted to pretend otherwise...

The goofing off girls...Alena, Hollye and Allison.

SupaStars!!!!

The Gang:

Mason, Brant, Julianne

Alena, Hollye, Allison

River and Hunter!!

Mason and Alena!

Baby Ty!

The "Poltergeist" tree...

Dadddy and Audrey!

Uncle Bryan, the Q-master General.

And a semi boring video...

And a video of Audrey entertaining Ty!

Birthday Party!

2009-04-11T19:11:00.000-07:00

Today, a month late, we had Alena's Birthday Party!!! I owed her one, since we haven't thrown her a "Friend" party for three years. But, today we did! It was the perfect party for both of us! I didn't have to have it at my house, deal with loud screaming girls trashing the house...AND the girls had THE BEST TIME!!! It was at a local gymnastics place. The girls PLAYED and WORKED out hard! They had serious fun, and got GREAT exercise...all at the same time.

Enjoy the pics.

Happy 8th Birthday Alena!!!!

Can you See me Now?

2009-04-10T19:48:00.000-07:00

A long tradition in our family continues.

The need for glasses.

Every single woman on my side of the family wears glasses. All of them. I needed them when I was little, and still today have terrible vision. And now, I have 3 out of 5 children in glasses. :)

Here is Alena in her new glasses. She got two pair for $69! Isn't that fantabulous? It is hard to tell in the pictures, but one pair is pink, and the other is blue. Very "fashion"!!

And here are the other girls in this house with glasses...

What I find wonderful is, that each kid has several other little kids in their classrooms wearing glasses. It is so "not wierd" to have glasses anymore. I think that is a great thing. :)

Just some pictures...

2009-04-07T19:35:00.000-07:00

I don't have much on my mind tonight. So, I thought I'd dig into some pics I haven't shown in awhile. Enjoy...

One of my favorites....Julianne, 2 years old, got into my purse while I wasn't looking, and decided to put on her own diaper....ha ha!!

This is what it looks like when you return home after Dad stays home and "watches" the kids....and (ugh ugh ugh) feeds them noodles with red sauce....Seriously Dad!

This picture cracks me up. On a visit to Mackinaw Island, MI, we took a horse carriage tour. We got front seat, and this view just made me giggle...

One day I let Mason take my picture. He did pretty well getting me in the shot evenly.

Just Cute:

Share the Road...

2009-04-06T19:11:00.000-07:00

Yeah right. "Share the Road". That is what the street signs say, meaning, share the road with bicycle people. Well guess what? I DON'T WANT TO SHARE THE ROAD! And, I don't think I should have to. UNLESS....UNLESS...the bicycle person can keep up with traffic.

Why should the rest of the world have to (not so patiently) wait for neoprene man to get out of their way, so they can get past them, and do the speed limit? Why should I have to share the road with somebody riding a bike for mere exercise, when there are 9000 bike trails he could use instead of my route to work!!!

"Share the Road". So, maybe next month they can put up signs that say "Get your shiny neoprene hiney off the road". Maybe.

"Our Special Needs"...

2009-03-29T09:26:00.000-07:00

In Julianne's Kindergarten class, there are, what seems to be, a zillion children in her class. She has one great teacher, Mrs. Oldani, and one great Kindergarten Aide, Mrs. Trimble. They both work very hard with Julianne to give her the special help she needs. I can't express my gratitude for them, for their willingness and patience to work extra hard with Julianne.

This past Thursday, while I was at school picking Julianne up to take her to her Speech therapy, Mrs. Trimble came out and gave me the most wonderful gift. She explained to me that she writes poems, and once while praying about the blessings in her life, it became clear to her that helping Julianne was a blessing to her. It fulfilled something she needed. ((How SWEET is that!!)) So, here is the poem she wrote for Julianne:

Our Special Needs

A moment of genius

A moment of grace

We have been working hard this year.

Some days in sync

Some days further apart.

You mastered a concept,

I hoped and prayed would be possible.

You said to me, "It is because you have been

helping me!"

A moment of genius

A moment of grace

It is then that I realized what I knew all

along, that as we spend time together,

I am truly blessed.

I thank God for seeing through his eyes, his

miracle, "YOU"!

Love, Mrs. Trimble

It is just so wonderful to me, that so often, the people who are helping Julianne, often discover that she is *special* in many, many ways!! She is an absolute blessing!

Our Goings on!

2009-03-27T10:52:00.001-07:00

It's been awhile since I've added anything here! Whew....sometimes it feels like I'm just going and going and going....

But, instead of cleaning right now, I'm doing this. :) I'll pay for it later.

So, here are some things we have done in the last few weeks.

The Walker Scottish Rite's trivia night was held not too long ago. Jeff and I went, along with my brothers Bryan and Billy, and Bryan's fiance Cammie. Allison and Alena were volunteer "table runners". It was an awesome night, which benefitted a great cause.... Here are a few pics. Oh, it was a "Sports theme" night.

And look at our great centerpiece for our table. :)

I think they raised a lot of money! God bless them for all they do for children with speech and language disorders!

Also, we were in the midst of basketball season. It is over now (sigh of relief). Alena LOVED playing. Mason HATED it. Allison enjoyed it as usual.

Pics of the kids NOT playing... which is hard ya know...just sitting there and eating junk food. ;)

#54 is Allison...

We also went to the Magic House one Friday when they didn't have school. I took the five kids all by myself. I won't ever be doing that again. :)

Climbing the three story beanstalk:

Sorry....this is all jam packed into this one entry...but I've been busy, and also my computer crashed and I had to get a new one...WHICH I LOVE.... but....

More pics:

Some radom Julianne pics that crack me up:

Coming down the steps I hear her tell Audrey, "We are the Cheetah girls!"... And well, this is what she looked like when I turned around:

Audrey was worse....but no pictures to prove it.

Also...at grandmas.....doing some balancing. This sequence needs no words....just guess. :)
CLICK PICTURE TO ENLARGE:

Ha!!!

A Choo!

2009-02-26T08:16:00.000-08:00

ME: (Sneeze)...A CHOO!

Mason: God Bless you mom.

ME: (Sneeze again) A CHOO!

Audrey: Bless you God.

ME: (Laugh Out Loud!)

I love it!

A new song choice...

2009-02-19T14:35:00.000-08:00

What does it say about a 30 something year old, who thinks the new Miley Cyrus song was written just for her? I think it means she need professional help. ;)

2009-02-12T19:49:00.001-08:00

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and don't lean on your own understanding. In all things acknowledge him, and he shall direct your way. [Proverbs 3:5, 6]”

What I heard today...

2009-02-10T19:12:00.000-08:00

Today, while driving to work...and thinking about my out of control mind...I heard a whisper. I immediately knew it was God speaking to me. He said:

"Because you live in survival mode..."

And now...to figure out what that means......

:)

Here I am Lord...

2009-02-05T09:27:00.000-08:00

Maybe it is because I have been trying to practice playing this on the guitar.

Maybe it is because this song always speaks loudly to me.

Maybe because I this little girl just so happens to look like Alena....

But for whatever reason, this youtube clip made me ball like a baby this morning.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did....I only wish it were longer.

Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord?I have heard you calling in the night.I will go, Lord, if you lead me.I will hold your people in my heart.

I the Lord of sea and sky, I have heard my people cry. All who dwell in dark and sin, My hand will save.

I, who made the stars of night,I will make their darkness bright.Who will bear my light to them?Whom shall I send?

I, the Lord of snow and rain,I have borne my people’s pain.I have wept for love of them.They turn away.

I will break their hearts of stone,Give them hearts for love alone.I will speak my words to them.Whom shall I send?

I, the Lord of wind and flame,I will send the poor and lame.I will set a feast for them.My hand will save.

Finest bread I will provide,'Til their hearts be satisfied.I will give my life to them.Whom shall I send?

We have TALENT all around!

2009-02-01T08:57:00.000-08:00

Friday night was an awesome night. My parents kept Audrey so I actually got to relax some and enjoy the show. The kids did awesome, and a great time was had by all.

For the IHM Talent Show, it is not about who is better than the rest, it is about showing what talents God has given you, and if you want to perform, you can. It was just a fun night for kids and parents.

These pictures of Allison and Julianne do not do justice, because in real life, they looked WAY WAY cuter than these pictures relay. :)

Here is the family act doing Forever (God is faithful)... Mason was just so thrilled to have his own microphone. :)

Here is Julianne and the Kindergarten class. :)

Here is my brave, brave Alena. She really struggled finding the courage to get up and do this...but SHE DID IT! She did "Love Story" by Taylor Swift... She was so good...

After the talent show came the "dance party". Here is Alena and her friend having a blast.

And I LOVE LOVE LOVE these two pics. This is Mason, being 4 years old, in dancing bliss....

Get ready, get set...TALENT!

2009-01-28T19:36:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is the "dress rehersal" for the IHM talent show. At the present time, these are the acts due to premier from our family:

Julianne, Mason and Alena are going to do Forever God is Faithful!
Alena is going to do Love Story by Taylor Swift.
Allison is going to do a Spice Girls song.

We shall see......

More to come.

Snow Day!

2009-01-27T18:38:00.000-08:00

It snowed today! Enough to get school called off...which takes a miracle to happen at IHM, but it happened. The way it is snowing still, I don't doubt there will be no school tomorrow either!

So, I finally dragged out my new camera...first time since Christmas Eve. I got some pics of the kiddos, and then played with some editing. Here are a couple of them.

I would like to type out about how we saw that Home Depot was laying off a lot of people, and that we are just praying that Jeff's job will be safe...but I don't really want to talk about it. I know that God will provide no matter what...he always has and continues to do so. It is just so frightening what is happening in our world today. I don't see a turn around anytime soon.

Let's see what ya got, Barack....what can you do for ME?

A glimpse inside my mind...

2009-01-26T19:09:00.000-08:00

While driving, this is where my mind wanders:

......
Hmmmm.....Breaking and entering....breaking and entering.... I wonder if somebody were to go into a place to rob them, but they didn't "break in"....more like the door was open, or they just used an old key they found....would it still be "breaking" and entering....

or just entering?

I'm not sure...

2009-01-25T19:44:00.000-08:00

But I think Sybil lives in my house.

Oh, and it is NOT me.....

A busy day...

2009-01-24T18:28:00.001-08:00

Today was full. We had two basketball games, two birthday parties, and one concession stand job. Tomorrow we have donut duty after mass, my real job and one basketball game.

Oh, and the whole getting ready for Monday morning thing...

Emerging from the puke..

2009-01-23T10:16:00.000-08:00

:) How is that for a title?

Well, I think we are on the upswing of this icky virus. All in all, it wasn't so bad. As far as stomach bugs go, this one was pretty mild. Over in a day. Gotta love that. Jeff, had it yesterday....

So, last night, as I was in Walgreens late at night getting the man some red Gatorade for his poor tummy, I was doing my usual (all by myself) Walgreens shopping. Oh, I do love to go up and down the aisles at Walgreens, when by myself. Unfortunately, I always buy way too many things I do not need, nor intended to buy while there. Such was the case last night, but I digress.

While going down the aisle that had the magazines and notebooks and picture frames, something occurred to me. For whatever reason, I am always attracted to the notebooks. I always want to buy notebooks. Not the big ones, like you would use for school, but the smaller ones, the middle size ones, and so on. I always think...Oh, I could put my recipes in one, or I could put my to do lists, or I could use that one for x y z....and so on and so on..... I seem to always stop and stare at the notebooks....always looking for a reason to buy one. Of course, throughout the years, I've bought several. I am more than well aware of what I usually do with them....which is not end up using them.

But...I do love to look and think about buying them. :)

My Review of iCarly Honeycomb Buzz Game Holder for Nintendo DS

2009-01-18T11:18:00.001-08:00

Originally submitted at Toys R Us

Store and transport your Nintendo DS, stylus pen and up to 3 DS games with this stylin' iCarly Honeycomb Buzz Game Holder. The durable nylon case zips around to keep the contents secure, and handles make it easy to carry. It's decorated with a glitter print and iCarly art featuring an iri...

It's just perfect!

By Alena's mum... from St. Louis, MO on 1/18/2009

It is just the right size, just the right cuteness, just the right everything. My daughter loves it.

(legalese)

OUR TURN...

2009-01-17T20:23:00.000-08:00

Our Turn!

The stomach, puking, barfing bug has finally arrived at our house. 10:24 pm, 1/17/09. Kid #1, Mason, awoke on the couch, made it just to the landing of the steps...the carpeted steps, of course...before.....SPLAT...SPLAT...SPLAT...

Here we go. Only six more people in the house to make its rounds.

Oh, the joy of flu season.

Guitar lessons...

2009-01-17T15:47:00.001-08:00

When I reflect back on my memories from "The good ol' Days", there is an abundance of the "musical" memories. The great days of old from Grandma and Grandpa Rosemann's house on Sunday's, where my dad and his friends/relatives would jam with their guitars, banjos, mandolins and whatever else they had. Oh how I enjoy reflecting on that. The days of my dad playing musing in the basement, or in the backyard with his bands.... I am sure my memories of those days, are much, much different than my moms memories of those days, and also for my dad. To them, I think they are not as fond memories...but for me, they are awesome.

My girls, Allison and Alena are starting guitar lessons this week. Partly because they want to play, and partly because I want them to play. I can play some...and I think it would be cool if we could all play together, in the future....and have our own jam sessions.

Allison had her first "lesson" on Thursday. She is going to Music Folk. Alena will be getting a lesson from my brother Bryan on Sundays. I must tell you, last week, I brought over the guitar to my parents house, so Bryan could tune the guitar for us..... To my sheer delight, my dad ended up playing it...to some music he USED to play. That music that is stored in my "Great memories" file... It made my day. Here was my dad, playing this smaller version guitar. And not just any guitar. A purple shiny Hannah Montana guitar. It was priceless. I was so wishing I had a camera.

Thanks Dad! For a more recent "Great memory". I love you.

I've returned!

2009-01-16T09:04:00.000-08:00

To the blooging world. If there are really anbody who reads this, you are in luck...ha ha...because I feel like typing out my life again. :) More to follow.

But for now, all I have to say is:

What the HELL was I thinking when I signed up THREE kids to play bastketball this season? I mean, I am essentially a single mom on weekends, who works on Sunday's! I've just added ALL the games into my (STILL UP TO DATE, yay me!) daytimer, and....whoa. I'm just praying that I figure out a way to get them all to where they need to go, when they need to get there, and I will have to finagle some schedule changes at work.

I promise to post more often now!